Most Alive Monday: Happy Mom

"Little surprises around every corner, but nothing dangerous!" - Willy Wonka

I want to take a moment to thank everyone for their support, well wishes and resources. I feel so blessed that my diary has enabled me to connect with so many kindreds and even more blessed to have developed friendships with some of you in person. I've said it time and again, I'm the luckiest person on Earth.

I received a comment last week that gave me pause and I wanted to take a moment to respond to it because I don't want anyone thinking that I'm something I'm not. For the record, I am an oridinary person. I have good days and bad days just like the rest of the world. I get tired, I get frustrated, I lose patience, I get annoyed with my husband, I get sick and that is pretty darn ordinary, isn't it?

Last week, I received a comment from happymom which read:

"Wow - what a bummer. I am amazed that you can suffer migraines, and still find the energy for Most Alive Mondays and crystals, and chocolate strawberries. You are an amazing person."

And here I must respond and dispel any myths and snark that I'm an "amazing" person...

My migraines lasted approx 10 hours each, though I would have to confer with my husband as I lost track of time due to the pain. The next day or two after the migraine, I felt pretty much like crap, exhausted and achy, but I couldn't flop because I have a 4 1/2 year old son who wants to do stuff.

This blog is my diary and very much a part of my own self care...especially Most Alive Mondays because it reminds me to be aware of the beauty in the ordinary. Each week I look for a moment that felt special to me in some way and then I add it to the queue to post automatically on the following Monday. So, as the new week unfolds, I have that moment from the prior week to reflect upon as a buoy for the week ahead. Something light to float on in the event of a crappy day that we all have from time to time, but rather not cling to.

My son was extremely excited about the crystal growing kit that his dad bought during their trip to the museum (while I rested from the postdrome aka migraine hangover) and heartbroken when we realized how toxic the kit was. Thankfully, crystals don't require any energy on my part, short of boiling some sugar syrup and pouring it into a jar. The rest is up to evaporation which I have nothing to do with. To his credit, my wee son agreed to wait until the following day to give me just a bit more recovery time before our Rock Candy experiment.

With regard to the chocolate covered strawberries, it seemed like a simple request. Melt some chocolate in the microwave, let cool and enjoy the hush while the wee boy is dipping berries. A moment of sweet peace from a very patient boy waiting for his mama to get better.

Indeed, the 3 migraines I've had were a bummer, in fact, they down right sucked. But what sucked even more than the pain was not being able to enjoy my son. You see, if given a choice, I would much rather be on the floor playing Legos with my son than barfing in the back of an ambulance. I am grateful for those moments when the pain ebbed...those moments when something so simple and effortless like making rock candy or dipping strawberries became an absolute wonder and delight to my son.

I'm not amazing, that's "crystal" clear! Yet the world is amazing to one little boy who just discovered that he could grow candy on a stick.

*About Most Alive Monday: I've decided to make at least one "most alive choice" each day and post my favorite each Monday. This, of course, is to motivate me to consciously "live juicy"! I hope you'll join me and share your "most alive moment" in the comments section so we may inspire each other.

A House of Welcome

"May you have the eyes to see
That no visitor arrives without a gift
And no guest leaves without a blessing" - John O'Donohue

I present you with more evidence that I am the luckiest person on Earth...

On Saturday we hosted our Annual Winter Solstice Holiday Open House and the peeps flowed in and out of our home for 8 hrs straight. And I made my famous crock of vegetarian chili and guests brought treats of every variety and fires were toasty, and the friendships were too, and the children delightfully boisterous. I was so exhausted from the whole shebang that I did not have the energy to bring up the sun the following morn.

Here I must take you back in time in order to reveal the magic that is my life....

There was this extremely handsome teacher in my middle school whom I was smitten with. His name was David Hildreth and he had crazy curly hair. We were kindreds - we had that genius hair connection. David taught math in the classroom where I studied Spanish and that is how we met...passing each other in the doorway as his class left and my class entered. He was never one of my teachers. Anyway, David began leaving me messages in the classroom, always funny and often hidden. It was a dalliance that spanned an entire school year...until I switched schools.

One day David left me a cryptic message on graph paper and it was in the form of a math equation. Math is NOT my language. I carried it with me everywhere trying to decipher the code. I took it with me to a basket ball game - teachers vs teachers, I think. I sat in the bleachers trying to decode the message. My school chum Jeff sat beside me and helped.

I have known Jeff since childhood. He used to tie my shoes for me because I broke my right arm in two places when an unstable wall in my tree fort fell on me. I had a cast up to my shoulder. The only way I could tie my laces was to sit on the floor and bring my knees to my chest which was no small task in the crowded hallways of our school. So when Jeff would find me huddled trying to tie my sneakers, he would always lend a hand.

So there we were, not paying attention to the basketball game, but instead, trying to decode my message from David Hildreth. Eventually, we figured out that the equation was telling me where to place lines on the graph paper (brilliant) and by placing the lines in the right place, it spelled out a message...

T U R K E Y L E G S

I have no memory of this but Jeff swears that when we cracked the code I stood up in the bleachers and screamed

T U R K E Y L E G S ! ! !

and no one knew what was going on except for me, Jeff and David who at that precise moment looked up into the bleachers and smiled.

Flash forward to the present... Sunday morning:

Bleary eyed and with extreme genius bed head, I made some hot cocoa. Having just missed the sunrise, I headed for the computer to check my mail and visit my pals on facebook. And THAT is when I discovered that my old school chum Jeff went outside in his pajamas to photograph the sunrise in NY and posted it to my facebook page. I suppose he must have guessed that I would be too exhausted after my annual Winter Solstice party to bring up the sun proper. You can imagine my surprise and delight when I saw the sunrise on my screen.

And if you ever doubted that I am the luckiest person on Earth, this is further proof.

May you smile big for the knowing of this and may you feel as blessed as I do.

Worth

*Further proof that I'm the luckiest person on earth...
Satch and I took his bike on the trail to make sure the "Bee Charmer" was still there. I could see the little handle that I made hanging from the tree hollow. Then as I looked down, right there at my feet was a set of butterfly wings that once belonged to a Black Swallow Tail.... just wings...REAL butterfly wings! I took a scan of them, but it doesn't do them justice.

*Feel free to rip the jpeg from this blog, cut them out and use them for your art. (click on photo to view larger)

Then I discovered during Satchel's nap that there is a wendyful love-fest going on over at the Whole Self!

and then THIS article...

NEW YORK (Reuters) - If the typical stay-at-home mother in the United States were paid for her work as a housekeeper, cook and psychologist among other roles, she would earn $138,095 a year, according to research released on Wednesday. The 10 jobs listed as comprising a mother's work were housekeeper, cook, day care center teacher, laundry machine operator, van driver, facilities manager, janitor, computer operator, chief executive officer and psychologist, it said. The typical mother puts in a 92-hour work week, it said, working 40 hours at base pay and 52 hours overtime. A mother who holds full-time job outside the home would earn an additional $85,939 for the work she does at home. (Reporting by Ellen Wulfhorst)

To quote Fred, "I'll be back when the week is new" because tomorrow we're taking Satch to the kinetic sculpture race and meeting up with the amazing and talented poet, Shelley of But Wait, There's More! And if that isn't awesome enough...Julie of Self-Definition is visiting us on Sunday!

• listening
• reading
• watching (The first tv show I've watched in 2 years. They hooked me with the line,"Be careful where you walk, history's afoot")

Have a great weekend everyone!
*Those who know me would agree that my list of reasons why I am the luckiest person on earth is innumerable. (and the fact that I have such a long list is yet another reason)

Mom to Mom: Inessa Love

I keep saying time and again that I'm the luckiest person on earth and having the opportunity to meet Inessa Love is just another example of why I believe it is so. I need to back up a bit in order to explain how I met Inessa.

For me motherhood is a constant learning experience. As I learn more about my son, I learn more about myself. And I come here to my diary and record my experience so that my son will have the story of our journey together and also so that those who feel compelled to read my journal might find some sort of foothold that saves them from the stumbling that I do along this path.

My third year of motherhood is the most challenging for me. For instance, when my triggers are pushed, I tend to revert to baggage from my own childhood...I raise my voice when I lose my patience. By nature I have a very soft and quiet voice so it actually takes quite a bit of energy and a LOT of frustration for me to get to that point. And I don't want to get to THAT point. I've been thinking so much about why this happens, why I raise my voice when I'm pushed beyond my limits and I believe it's because I feel that I'm not being heard, but not because I'm half Italian. So, if I feel like I'm not being heard, then perhaps I need to find a more effective way of communicating, right? And here is where I happened upon Nonviolent Communication...I read up on it, I watched Marshall speak about it and I thought that this can enrich every aspect of life, including parenting. My search led me to a parenting workshop in DC where I met Inessa....



Mom: Inessa Love
Of: Sebastian, 4.5 years old
Where: Washington DC
Website: Connection Times

1. In what ways has becoming a mother changed you?

I became a more loving person. I guess I must have been a loving person before that too, but becoming a mother helped me access that well of love inside of me. I had no idea I can experience so much love. Sometimes I go into my son’s room when he is sleeping and I sit there and watch him and I feel so much love for him that I cry. As I watch him learning new things every day, I admire this amazing little person that helps me remember the beauty and mystery of human experience.

I also became more confident. Before I had my son, I had no idea what this will be like and I had a lot of fear and anxiety about whether I will be able to handle being a mother; I felt very insecure. I was never a “baby person” – if anyone gave me a baby to hold, the baby will start crying within a matter of minutes. That has not changed since I had my son – I did fine with him when he was a baby, but I still don’t do well with other people’s babies :-)

But now, 4.5 years into it, I feel more confident than ever. It did not happen overnight, in fact this confidence is growing, as I am learning how to navigate this ever changing relationship, discovering what works and what does not, and experiencing “mini successes” (and sometimes major setbacks too). But I am very confident in the approach to parenting that I have chosen – which is inspired by Nonviolent Communication that I will speak about below.

2. What is one tip you would like to share about mothering?

I would say the major tip is being intentional about how you are as a parent. I am afraid that many people are “parenting by default,” either using the approaches they absorbed from their parents, or allowing themselves to be influenced by what others think they should do, or applying discipline techniques according to the latest book, without looking deeply into what kind of relationship they want to create with their children.

Yes, as parents we all, no matter how skillful we are, will do things we regret later. When it happens, the first thing I’d say is to have compassion for yourself. You are a human being, and you are here to learn (I believe). Be gentle with yourself; it’s no use to start beating yourself up – that is not the way we learn. I believe we learn best in the atmosphere of peace and compassion. So my second tip will be for parents to cultivate compassion for themselves.

Next, be intentional about what you want to do the next time a similar trigger happens. I believe it is very important to be intentional and ask yourself some important questions, such as: what kind of parent do I want to be, what is really important to me, what kind of person do I want my child to become, and what kind of relationship do I want to have with this person now and when he is grown up. Sometimes we are too busy to ask ourselves these questions, but I believe they are crucial to our satisfaction and enjoyment of parenting.

3. What is NVC and how did you find this path?

NVC, stands for Nonviolent Communication, is a way of relating to ourselves and each other that honors each individual and looks to find the beauty inside every one of us. This beauty is found through connecting to the deep yearnings we all share as human beings and qualities we all want to experience in life - such as love, friendship, understanding, empathy, choice, trust, meaning, harmony and many others. We refer to these qualities as “needs” although the word “need” does not really capture what we mean by it. The “needs” in NVC is what makes our hearts sing, which is not the same as it is used in common vernacular.

After being married for a few years, I had this sobering realization that I had to learn a different way of relating to my husband if I did not want to end up like my parents – divorced. My main way of coping with conflict was to have a few shots of vodka (to honor my Russian roots), but this never really helped. Then I came to NVC and it changed. Not overnight, in fact, it’s been a long process, sometimes painful and discouraging. One of the things I am really blessed with in this life is perseverance. I am so grateful I never gave up on our relationship. And now, after 6 years of consciously practicing NVC, I can say my relationship with my husband is better than ever and I am looking forward to our 10th anniversary that is coming up this August. I also have the best relationship with my Dad I’ve had in years; my Mom lives with us and we all get along great. But most of all, as I said above, I feel this has been the biggest blessing for me as a mother to have these skills for creating a relationship with my son that is mutually nourishing and fulfilling.

4. How can NVC be applied to parenting?

It has everything to do with how I am as a parent. NVC approach is what I would refer as a “partnership” approach to parenting. It’s in contrast to authoritarian, coercive, or “power-over” approach, in which the parent is “the boss”: “do as I say or else…” “because I said so” or “you have to … now!” Conversely, NVC is not a “permissive” approach either – i.e. “do whatever you want.”

In NVC both needs matter - my needs and my son’s needs. And it is not the case that my needs are more important because I am bigger and stronger. I let my son know that his needs matter to me. And gradually, I see signs that my needs and my well-being matter to him. Just the other night I had a bit of a rough time brushing his teeth (which took 10 minutes instead of regular 2 minutes, and I was exhausted by the process, but he seemed to be having fun). So after we were done, I said with some frustration in my voice: “Sometimes it is very difficult for me to brush your teeth, and I don’t like it” to which he replied in an empathetic tone: “I don’t like giving you a hard time.” That made up for those 10 minutes for me.

When we have a disagreement, I like to call it a dilemma, rather than a conflict. In conflict one person is up against the other one. In a dilemma, two people are thinking together how to resolve it. I say to my son: “here is a dilemma: you want X and I want Y, what are we going to do about it?” Sometimes he has an idea, which I welcome, and sometimes he says “I don’t know” and then I say: “ok, here is my proposal” and I describe my idea and then I ask what he thinks about it. If he does not agree, I ask him if he has another idea or proposal. (He learned the word proposal when he was barely 3 years old.) In the end we find what works for both of us. I invite him to be a partner in finding ways we resolve our differences. I share my power with him – I am not the boss. But I don’t give up on my needs either. It is a “beautiful dance.” Do you like to dance?

5. Please share how you used NVC in a difficult situation with son?

Please read this story that I wrote here
(Scroll to Connection Feature Article)

6. How has NVC enriched your relationship with your son?

Imagine trying to tune in the radio station that plays a beautiful song, but there is so much static that you can barely hear the song.

Now, think about relationships - there is a lot of potential for “static” in any relationship, and especially in parenting. The “static” is all the little or big conflicts we experience daily: getting dressed in the morning, eating, getting into the car, watching (or not watching) TV, cleaning the room, doing the homework, managing anger and aggression, taking things that belong to others, not telling the truth, you name it. Without skills, such as those taught by NVC, these conflicts break the connection between us and our children. This “static” blocks the love for each other that we all have in our hearts. Sometimes the static is so loud, we cannot hear the beautiful song - we cannot access that love. I think the reason I feel so much love for my son is because of my NVC skills, there is very little static in our relationship, and I can hear the song so clearly. And it is the biggest blessing I have experienced in life.

7. Where can others find NVC parenting workshops?

There are sometimes parenting workshops offered in Washington DC area – you could visit Capital NVC and sign up for our monthly newsletter to find out the next one. You could also attend non-parenting NVC workshops since all the tools of NVC could be applied to parenting situations. I am intending to teach another parenting class in April-May – so stay tuned.

8. I am thrilled to learn that you are organizing a Family Heart Camp on the East Coast. The thought of like-minded families all coming together for the sole purpose of learning, and growing for the greater good moves me deeply. Please share more about it.

I really want to support parents because I have so much compassion for parents. Parent-child relationship is a very meaningful relationship that has the power to shape the child’s life (and the parent’s life, for that matter). I also have so much compassion for children, who are often powerless, and don’t have access to resources, who are vulnerable and easily get hurt and misunderstood. The pain the children experience and the deep wounds they might be left with for the rest of their lives deeply concerns me. The parent-child bond is so strong, so archetypal, there is so much potential for joy and for pain in this relationship. My heart goes out to all parents and all children, who experience suffering.

Parenting is such a difficult job, and most unfortunately, in our society it is often a very solitary job. Parents are often struggling because of lack of skills and support, stretching between a day job, taking care of the home, maintaining the marriage and raising the family. It does not have to be that way! Family camp is a place where parents get the support they need and learn the skills to help create fulfilling relationships with their children that last a life time.

Click here to learn more about our Family Camp and come play with us. There will be free informational teleclasses about the Camp on March 2 and 7 – please visit the website for more info.

9. What grounds you, moves you, fills your well?

So many things. Being creative is one thing – writing, creating something. For example, I am finishing a CD with meditations inspired by NVC, called “The Heart of Connection.” This was very meaningful and fulfilling project. If you sign up for my newsletter, you will hear about it coming out in April. Last year I created a 5 minute video clip that I enjoyed creating (see below)



I also like working with people in private practice (I help individuals and couples learn these vital skills and rediscover the joy of connection) and I like giving workshops. I like spending quality time with my husband and I like to play. I like going for a walk, exercising, dancing, meditation, prayer and going on spiritual retreats.

Thank you for the questions! As I was writing the answers, I was really in touch with how grateful I am for all the blessings in my life!

*Most Alive Monday will resume next week.
OH!..and Happy Birthday, Ted!!!

Most Alive Monday: Bright Wings

"In the muddled mess of this world, in the confusion and boredom and amazement, we ought to be able to spot something...an event, a person, a memory, an act, a turning of the soul, the flash of bright wings, the surprise of sweet compassion...somewhere we ought to pick out a glory to celebrate" - Samuel H. Miller

At exactly 7:23 pm (Wednesday night) a tiny little hummingbird came to our feeder. I had attached the feeder to our living room window where it gets afternoon and evening light and planted flowers that hummers are attracted to nearby. Then in the eve while snuggling on the sofa with Satch, I saw something flutter to the side of us and there at the feeder was the tiniest little hummingbird. I could not believe my eyes and I gasped. Satch looked up quickly and I whispered, "shhhh it's a hummingbird". He did not know what to make of this tiny little creature. SO VERY TINY! We both sat there and watched silently and then in a flash it was gone. It came back the following morning and joined me as I sipped my coffee, but I haven't seen it since.

My brother-in-law flew in to visit for the long weekend. We went to the falls where we saw a mother and baby deer eating beside the trail. I found another set of Swallowtail wings, this one yellow, (photo above) in the grass and I know I've said it before, but I'll say it again....."I'm the luckiest person in the world"!

We ate some Boca Brats and corn on the cob and the boys watched Nathan's Hot Dog eating contest because what could be more American than honoring gluttony, right?!?! I was relieved when Satch fell asleep during the pre-game shenanigans because I really didn't want him to witness all the gorging. It was altogether repulsive. However, it was indeed amusing to hear the commentators use the terms, "sport" and "professional eater". The onlookers cheered as the winner ingested 55 fistfuls of meat byproducts and nitrates in 10 minutes!

*About Most Alive Monday: I've decided to make at least one "most alive choice" each day and post my favorite each Monday. This, of course, is to motivate me to consciously "live juicy"! I hope you'll join me and share your "most alive moment" in the comments section so we may inspire each other.

Wondrous Journeys

Click on the image for a peek inside...

Last eve, my friend P and I (and our wees) went to the 60 minutes of Lovely gathering in DC. I'm just crazy about Amy's work (as is Satch) and it was wonder-full to finally meet her in person. At the end of the gathering she asked if anyone had a child with a birthday coming up and I raised my hand as Satch will be 4 in just nine days! Then Amy announced, "I'm going to call Satchel on his birthday and read him a bedtime story". HOW COOL IS THAT!

Further proof that I'm the luckiest person on earth.

When I told Satch he was so excited and said, "AND maybe one night I can read HER a story TOO!"

I have some other news...which has to do with the art journal you see here. I'll tell you tomorrow....I need to finish these last sips of coffee before my energetic boy wakes up. In the meantime, the swallowtails are back and I know one little boy who is very excited to see them again...

A Marvel

In all things of nature there is something of the marvelous - Aristotle

Last year we met a wonderful stick bug who met a very unfortunate demise. Satch loved it so...and I loved the joy it brought him. I've been hoping that Satch would find another and because I am the luckiest person on earth, he found one in our garden yesterday! He named it Twiggy.

I am trying to find information on the care and feeding of stick bugs as I think Satch would enjoy having it winter with us. If there's anyone out in the blogosphere with such info, please contact us.

I should mention once again, that I'm not fond of insects. Truthfully, I have a bit of an aversion...especially to the large variety, moreover to the jumping/flying variety. However, I try not to let it show because I'm grateful for the happiness they bring my son.

Have a good weekend! See you Monday.

*Postscript: We received this wonderfully informative email from Mr. Erwin, the entomologist at Smithsonian's Museum of Natural History...

Dear Ms. Cook:

We maintain cultures of several species of tropical stick insects here in the Insect Zoo. The adults mate and lay eggs throughout the year as they do in the tropics.

You have a species of temperate stick insect that you found in your garden in Virginia. These stick insects live in the tree canopies for the most part. There the adults feed on leaves, mate, and lay eggs on the leaves. When the leaves fall to the ground in the autumn, so fall the eggs. The eggs overwinter on the leaves. When day length and temperature increase in the spring, the eggs hatch. The hatchling stick insects climb to the tops of the trees to feed and grow. Once they reach the adult stage, the reproductive cycle begins again.

Your stick insect species has evolved to deal with a harsh winter by overwintering in the egg stage. The adults die with the first frosts as do adult mantids. You might be able to keep this individual adult alive for awhile feeding it lettuce and tree leaves such as oak. I doubt that this individual can last until next spring for release back into the wild. Your species has evolved to last one growing season at this temperate latitude.

If you’d like to telephone me, I can be reached at the number listed below.

Sincerely yours,
Nathan Erwin
Insect Zoo/Butterfly Pavilion Manager
National Museum of Natural History

Most Alive Monday: Frogz

Back in September we learned that Imago Theatre would be performing in our hood in 2009 so we purchased tickets immediately. Friday eve was the big event and we had AWESOME seats. It was an awe inspiring, visual feast! And because I am the luckiest person on earth, I was incorporated into the show to play musical chairs with one of the penguins who then sat upon my lap, much to my son's delight.



*About Most Alive Monday: I've decided to make at least one "most alive choice" each day and post my favorite each Monday. This, of course, is to motivate me to consciously "live juicy"! I hope you'll join me and share your "most alive moment" in the comments section so we may inspire each other.

Again With the Goodly Goodliness

"Willing to accept that she creates her own reality except for some of the parts where she can't help but wonder what the hell she was thinking" - Brian Andreas (Story People)

So we returned from our trip to nirvana...um I mean Squam Art Workshops, and there was an email stating that my missing letterbox had been mysteriously returned. The local news is doing a follow-up to this story with the new happy ending.

AND...Think Tank (An international show of work exploring contemporary political issues including the environment, the death penalty, the war in Iraq, immigration, homeland security, and the election process itself) which includes two of my pieces opens tomorrow at the Clara M. Eagle Gallery at Murray State University in Kentucky.

I know I've said this before, but I really AM the luckiest person on earth. Do you believe me now? (If not, here's further proof)

To Be Dazzled... (a rather long post)

or more examples of why I'm the luckiest person on earth....

So we spent the brisk, yet beautiful day indoors yesterday because I was feeling so crummy. I got out the bubbles and a bubble gun and let Satch blow bubbles in the bathroom so I could take a hot and longer-than-five-minute-shower. When I asked him if there was something he'd like to do, wouldn't you know he said, "oooh sum rafts" (crafts). So I got out the paintbox and he painted and then asked for tape and stuck his creations up all over the studio window. We then read some books, had a pretend picnic where he served a mysterious imaginary brew he calls "pupatino"! While he took his nap, I finished reading a book that I found at B's yard sale on Saturday.

Would you sit with me for a spell because it's a good story?

You see, I met B via freecycle...she offered some Waldorf-ish lanterns that she and her beautiful son, J made some years ago with jars and tissue paper. I thought that I could use them for Satchel's birthday party in May or have a summer evening lantern walk and then enjoy them all year long when we want a bit of candle light. I also felt that a mother and son project such as this one should not end up in the trash. So I responded to her post, plopped Satch into the pram and walked to the other side of the lake.

Am I ever glad I did!

The lanterns were beautiful and B was quite a lovely soul AND her son J charmed Satch right out of his shy sideways glance into full fits of laughter. Satch was completely smitten with this delightful 7 yr old chap. We sat and chatted over fresh mango and discovered we had a lot in common. It turned out that this family was moving and having a yard sale the following week. Naturally, I planned to stop by.

When we returned from our Thomas the train adventure, however, the yard sale was over so I phoned to ask B if we could still pop by. Her sweet son, J, answered and asked, "Is this Wendy of the lanterns"? "Why yes it is", I relied. When we arrived at their home, I announced myself, "It is I...Wendy of the lanterns", and explained to J that I very much like the name he gave me.

B had some items set aside for us and I just couldn't believe our good fortune: TWO butterfly nets which I'm sure will catch many a bug, a blue Ukulele, this magic kit, a puppy costume, paint, a big bag of wool roving AND...this book, which I've just finished reading and absolutely love! Satch spent a good part of the afternoon pulling silks out of a bag and yelling "abba ba dabba hokey pokey" and slept with the puppy costume, and one of the butterfly nets.

If that isn't amazing enough...I found this book and this book at the Library book sale! The latter I've already started reading and it made me teary and gave me all sorts of ideas to adapt in our home. And I'm sure there are some who wonder how I manage to read so many books and the truth is, I don't watch tv so I read a lot. Except for yesterday because I was feeling so yucky so when Robert came home and took Satch outside to set his worms free, I flipped the tv on for just a second and was smacked in the face with one disaster or another...a shooting, tornadoes, wild fires and Rachael Ray. Ah! I'm not missing much - back to my books!

Oh, yes...last week 'tween the upcoming birthday crafting and Mother's Day gifts, I made a worm house for Satch and we cared for earthworms all week. (Pics of those as the events draw near)

I awoke several times last night freezing and covered in sweat. I'm guessing it means I kicked that bug from yesterday because I do feel that I'm on the mend this morn.


"Still, what I want in my life
is to be willing
to be dazzled-
to cast aside the weight of facts


and maybe even
to float a little
above this difficult world" - Mary Oliver

Tagged Out

I was tagged again, first by Jenica (on facebook) and then by Jessica so I'm hoping this covers both. I know it's done with love and all, but to be truthful, it makes me a bit cranky.

25 Random Things About Me:

















1. i wanted to be an artist when i grew up or Pippi Longstocking
2. i seriously covet my friend paula's necklace
3. i'm a vegetarian
4. i have a carnivorous plant
5. i detest string beans, eggplant, iceberg lettuce
6. i met my husband on match.com (and by the way, today is the anniversary of our first date)
7. slurping sounds give me the heebee jeebees, as do the bee gees
8. i like cinnamon & cloves in coffee
9. my favorite director is Jean Pierre Jeunet
10. i don't wear a wedding band
11. i don't use a top sheet
12. can't tell the difference 'tween a tilde and a swung dash
13. i love the word swung dash (and ginchy, petrichor, enchanted and shenanigans)
14. i can lindy pretty well, but i don't do flips (and i photographed my swing idol, Frankie Manning)
15. i love cummings, neruda, rumi, oliver & haiku by krause
16. i have my original 1967 spirograph
17. i'm the luckiest person on earth (really, I am)
18. my cat's breath smells like a dead guppy
19. tall trees relax me
20. i taste pickles yearly hoping to like 'em, but never do
21. i once got my bra caught on the sign of the sullivan st playhouse (it's a long story - email me if you want to know)
22. eggnog doesn't even sound good
23. I HATE TO BAKE, but I do for special occasions!!!
24. i dislike tags, chain mail, fwds and memes
25. i feel too guilty to tag others so i don't

Most Alive Monday (on Tuesday)

On Saturday we hopped in the car and drove to Shenandoah National Park. We drove right through several clouds and were met with sunny, blue skies on the other side. It's a surreal feeling to be eye level with a cloud while both feet are on the ground. (I just had to add that I think my husband has the sexiest shoulders on earth)










Standing on a peak at 3100 feet, the earth looked like a patchwork of texture and color. The drifting clouds painted huge shadows, like moving puzzle pieces, on the valley floor and two falcons circled effortlessly near the ridge below us. It is hard to imagine from this vantage point that there is so much going on down there - comings and goings, laughter and sadness, births and partings, animals, people, machines. From up here all you can see is oneness. I read that the oldest rocks in the Blue Ridge Mountains were created over a billion years ago and the thought of it made me want to take my shoes off and dance on the first boulder I could find. I want to go back...SOON!

Our most alive choice was to visit the mountains first and then go to the art museum on Sunday and in doing so we discovered that the museum was free because it was the first Sunday of the month. This seems to be the natural rhythm of my life. (Add this to the list of reasons why I 'm the luckiest person on earth)

We walked through the Frida Kahlo exhibit quickly because Satch was clearly not in an artsy mood. Though only the day before, he had a complete melt down when we had to go out and he left our house, clutching his paintbox. During his bath I had to tape a piece of paper to the wall so he could paint while I bathed him. We were almost certain he would bring it into our bed to compete for space between his giraffe, owl, rabbit, dog and digger.















So we left the museum, in search of a park, and walked past the White House.













(Can I say that I find it just a little bit funny that it's behind bars since so much of what this administration does is truly criminal)














Satch spotted a small crack in the wall with dirt in it and began digging.














It doesn't matter where we go, Satch will always find a patch of dirt.

















About Most Alive Monday: I've decided to make at least one "most alive choice" each day and post my favorite each Monday. This, of course, is to motivate me to consciously "live juicy"! I hope you'll join me and share your "most alive choice" in the comments section.

You may also post photos of your "most alive moments" in my most alive flickr pool! (If you post a photo in pool, be sure to include your link in the comment)

Reflection

"Every tree and plant in the meadow seemed to be dancing, those which average eyes would see as fixed and still" - Rumi



The karmic boomerang is flying once again! This book arrived from Shana (Thank you from the bottom of my poetry loving heart!) so to keep the energy flowing, I sent this book out to Margaret.

Please note that all this... the above photo, the previous post, and the abundant generosity that seems to flow in every direction, is another example of why I am the luckiest person alive!

Birthday Letters: Three

To Satchel with lots of big bold LOVE,

Now you are three! There has been so many changes in the last year. It feels as though you went from a babe to a boy in the blink of an eye. I LOVE who you are, your smile, your laugh, your sense of humor, your smell, and the way you hug. You give good hugs like your Dada.

I LOVE co-sleeping with you, and the way you pull my arm around you, snuggle and then pat me exactly the same way I pat you. I LOVE our night time conversations. Last night you announced, "Mama...a possum looks like a FFFFOT mouse!" You said it like an agitated Brit and the more I laughed the more you kept saying it. I LOVE your charming non sequitur declarations. You've just begun sleeping through the night and the timing is uncanny...right before you hit the big boy mark. You are no longer a toddler. No longer toddling, you are running, jumping, climbing, splashing, digging....and um...spitting!

When you are searching for just the right book for me to read, you sigh softly, "It's very curious". I LOVE that you use words like curious and residue and yet still say "gah berries" instead of strawberries and "homa depot" and "oakameal" and "parking noonooraj". How I will miss those words as surely as I miss "googoogots" when you ask me for apricots!

You have begun to ask for what you want..."I need a clean fork please", you told the waitress after dropping it under the table, "and hummus and tzatziki and olives and pita...that is what ME want". I LOVE that you feel so confident.

Though you are selective and cautious, you have just started introducing yourself, "I'm Satchel ...nice to meet you", you said proudly to our new neighbors.

I keep writing things down - the things you say, the things you do because I don't want to forget any of this...

• You like looking for worms, salamanders and bugs and you know where to find them.
• and throwing rocks in the stream and digging (and all implements of digging)
• drawing and painting. You've just started drawing people, train tracks, and letters!
• You make picnics and serve me a mysterious brew you call "pup a tee" which I suspect is really a cup of tea.
• Your favorite foods are pizza and pad thai (which you insist on eating with chopsticks).
• You love to read and have so many favorites, "Frogbelly Ratbone", "The Salamander Room", "Fireflies" to name just a few.
• You are wild about clouds and sunsets and notice EVERYTHING around you.
• You are excited by the return of the caterpillars, butterflies, and turtles. You are thrilled at the site of fluffy gosslings. And at this moment you are longing to see fireflies.
• You are an excellent dancer and namer of things.

You are such a wonderful boy, Satchel. Thank you for being my son. I'm indeed the luckiest person on earth. I LOVE you!

Love,
Mama
(posted at the time of your birth)

PS- Our camera broke down right after I took these photos of your treats. Sadly, I don't have any photos of your celebration.











Here's a brief description of the events:

• Your "Nomah" arrived and we took an evening lantern walk. You were so excited about it that you ran over and hugged me. You called it a "Fire Walk". We walked the trail carrying our lanterns and when we got to the wooden bridge you squealed, "We made it!" Then we all yelled, "Goodbye two years old" at the foot of the bridge and "Hello three years old" when we reached the other side.
• Once home I read you a birthday eve story that I wrote for you and you were convinced that you saw the fireflies in the story outside the window.
• When you fell asleep, we decorated the birthday room and I created a crepe paper kelp and fish chandelier over the birthday table.
• We made a trail of paper stars leading from the bedroom to the birthday table
• When you awoke, you collected the stars and your eyes widened when you saw all the decorations.
• You opened your birthday gifts...Nomah gave you two new books ("Inch by Inch" and "Augustus and his Smile"), a set of marbles and dominoes, and instruments. We gave you an easel and supplies (you call it an art studio) and a toy parking garage (noonooraj).
• I made a special breakfast of fish shaped pancakes with chocolate chip eyes and a coral reef made of oranges and bananas.
• After breakfast, Dada, went to pick up your balloons - sooooooo many! A big shark balloon, and and jellyfish.
• Your friends arrived and we made giant bubbles.
• Then we played parachute games. We put you in the middle of the chute and tossed you gently in the air singing, "We wish you a happy birthday"!
• We painted our wooden "fishies"
• Lastly, we all went inside and you carried the earth around a candle three times...we cheered.
• You went to the birthday table and blew out the candles on your birthday cupcakes, feasted on your sugary treats and opened gifts.