April Shower & Wild Life House List

Saturday afternoon, while working in my art studio, I saw the most enchanting scene unfold below me...the children of Hickory Cluster enjoying an April shower in an umbrella fort.


"The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of childhood into maturity." — Thomas Huxley.

We had a lovely visit from Satchel's Uncle Chip this weekend. Sunday morning, Chip spotted a coyote in back of our home. At first I thought it was a fox, but as Chip pointed out, it was too large to be a fox. I decided to keep a house list of all the wildlife we've seen.

This is what we have so far:

• 1 Great Blue Heron
• several Cooper's Hawks
• 2 Eagles
• 4 Deer
• 1 Pileated Woodpecker
• 3 Grackles
• 2 Turkey Vultures
• 1 Wolf Spider
• Black Throated Blue Warbler
• adorable Eastern Bluebirds
• 1 Great Northern Loon
• 1 red Fox
• 1 Coyote
• Several Marmorated Stink Bugs
• Many Asian Lady Beetles
• 1 Red Milkweed Beetle
• 1 Green June Beetle
• Chipmunks Galore
• 1 Black Rat Snake
• 2 Hummingbird sightings at our feeder
• Yellow Swallowtails and Black Swallowtails
• Red-banded Hairstreak, Calycopis cecrops
• Yellow Sulfur Butterfly
• tent worms
• unidentified caterpillar
• Cicadas
• the usual crew of Robins, BlueJays, Cardinals, Sparrows, and squirrels
• Cabbage White butterfly
• Summer Azure butterfly
• Red Admiral butterfly

(I'm still trying to identify some of the many other birds we see and I always point out the characteristics of the various animals to Satch. He now says "booday" or "Wobin" instead of just bird)
At this moment...the wind is howling and it is supposed to get stronger due to the Nor'easter. Robert said that considering all the rain we had Saturday night and Sunday, we should expect some trees to fall. A large tree outside my studio on the other side of the trail has already snapped.

Sharing

"What you role model to your young ones will come back to you and to others."

All of us want kind, loving children that share right? Many parents like myself have been in many situations with their children knowing that this is not an easy task and have been caught in that battle between what to share and not as well as the appropriate time a new toy should be on the sharing list for the next play date.

When parents get involved in toy squabbles, the primary goal should not be to teach your child a lesson on sharing. Rather, the goal is to intervene in a manner that does no harm (doesn't create bad feelings between the kids.) Children are highly sensitive to silent messages. If a parent asks an older sibling to hand over the toy he's playing with to his younger brother, the older child hears, "Mom likes the baby better than me." If one child whines to his mother and she gets involved on his behalf, the other child is bound to feel hurt and resentful toward the sibling. Take a commonsense approach and intervene in a manner that does no harm. If kids are fighting over a toy and they can't find a solution, hold both children responsible for the conflict and encourage them to work it out between themselves.

The trick is to give the kids the tools they need to resolve these conflicts, and then stay out of things as much as possible. One tool that works well is to say, "Okay, both of you want to play with the same toy, and that is not possible. How can we solve this? Then stand back and let them work it out. If the fighting continues, then a good question to ask is, "Do you like it when he shares with you?" Most likely the answer will be yes and then let your child tell you how they will work it out.

If your children are toddlers just remember you may have to intervene because the toy tends to be yanked from child to child or one runs with the toy after taking it, so get the children together and help them work it out without a lot of talking just guiding. In some cases with the older children if they are unwilling to share and you have given them opportunity to handle it with a watchful eye over the situation, it is o.k. then to have a brief gentle conversation with your little one and say, "If you are unwilling to share, you are letting me know that you are choosing to have the toy taken away." At that point let your child choose the right thing to do or not do. If he shares, praise him and if not keep your work and take the toy gently reminding your child is was their choice to do so.

When children are fighting over toys, resist the urge to jump right in and resolve things because what you are role modeling to your child is that they will learn to depend on you to solve their problems. When hosting play dates you can ask your children to put certain toys on the play list for the day just remember which ones they choose so each play date you can rotate toys so they are eventually sharing all of them. Also when your child gets a new toy, it is a golden rule in my house that the child does not need to share the toy for a couple days since it is new and then the toy is introduced to siblings and playmates. Another way to limit the fighting with sharing is to use distraction. You can turn your child's mood around by getting him involved in something different. Not every toy conflict needs to become a platform for teaching your child about sharing. This works really well with toddlers.

The best tool for teaching your child how to share is by role modeling it yourself. Use every opportunity to share and point it out to your child. When your child eats, "Can you share a bite with mommy?" and by playing with your child and doing the same thing with the toys.
If you are really having a tough time with sharing it is o.k. to give consequences while you play with your child too and then don't share. You are role modeling and in return when they go to play with friends it reciprocates back to others.

Your children love praise and attention from you. Praise is the best reward! Acknowledge their good sharing every chance you get and acknowledge their generosity. If you see that your child is giving you something, thank him for being so kind and turn it into a teaching tool for sharing. I bet Johnny would love it if you were sharing with him today. It is embarrassing when kids are inconsiderate and greedy but remember that you have to give up embarrassment when parenting because all kids do these behaviors at one time or another.

Have confidence in your child's basic goodwill and handle all behaviors with gentleness and kindness.

Most Alive Monday

I wish I could tell you what my most alive choice was last week, but it's all a blur.

First the good news...

Friday morning Satch and I went to the library book sale. It was insane in the membrane! I had to clear a spot under the table to keep Satch from getting trampled on by the mob of hungry bookworms. While he sat at my feet in his book-fort, I searched the boxes and found several books that were on Satchel's wish list as well as some gems that I had forgotten about.













(Left: Satchel's 2 dozen ~ Right: 20 gifts)

Here is a list of my harvest:

• Nuts to You! (Don't you love that title?)
  
• Swimmy
• Mouse Paint
• Leo the Late Bloomer
• The Day Jimmy's Boa Ate the Wash
• Play Time
• Biology for Every Kid: 101 Easy Experiments that really work.
• Recyclopedia
• Anatole and the Toy Shop
• David Goes to School
• Corduroy
• The Dot
• Possum's Harvest Moon
• Earthdance
• A House for Hermit Crab
• The Tale of Mr. Jeremy Fisher
• Wind in the Willows
• Father Bear Comes Home
• Little Bear
• Little Bear's Visit
• Polar Express
• Stellaluna
• One Morning in Maine

I also bought a rather large stack of books to give as gifts...Elouise, Madeline, Little Prince, as well as some Sendak, Leoni, Potter and Silverstein classics! I won't tell you how little I spent on my GIANT stash because you will *very completely, most extremely, hate me (let me just say that the majority of the books were 50 cents and the most expensive was 2 dollars). On the way home, as we passed a grassy meadow buzzing with grasshoppers, a large hawk swooped low right over the stroller. It was so close that I could see the spots on it's breast. It called out and I felt like I was in an episode of Northern Exposure. "THAT was a hawk", I explained to Satch.

Now for the not-so-good news...

That evening Satch seemed tired, hoarse and a bit out of sorts (as you can see in this video hello to his pal). Then at midnight he woke up coughing so hard, it was gagging him. He cried and his body trembled. My immediate thought (from my past experience in family medicine) was Croup. I took him into the bathroom and ran the shower, filling the room with steam while trying to calm him down. He wanted no part of the steam and it didn't seem to be helping so I put a jacket on him and took him outside. I sat him on my lap on the stoop and pointed to the moon. He pointed to the halo. "Rain bone rown da moon", he said, sounding more like a frog than my son. We sat outside quietly looking at the sky, but the cool air wasn't helping either. I decided we should take him to the emergency room so Robert and I threw some clothes on and we went to the hospital. When we got there, his breathing was a little better. There was only one patient in the waiting room and I thought perhaps we would get in and out pretty quickly. Was I ever wrong. Two nurses evaluated Satch before the doctor came in. After the doctor diagnosed Satch with Croup and administered an oral steroid we waited another 45 minutes for a nurse to check on him and release us. As we walked to the car, Satch looked at the moon and the stars. It was completely silent except for the chirping crickets and sound of our footsteps. It was 3 AM.

Our days and nights have been fuzzy vignettes of sleeplessness, crying, fevers, and violent coughing. As you know, my sleep bank was already suffering a serious deficit before this happened. Satch was no better on Sunday so we didn't go to his swim class. We've been doing a lot of reading, and *we've watching a lot of Charlie and Lola. We're waiting for Satch to get well.

I'll be back tomorrow with an all new Mom to Mom interview!


About Most Alive Monday: I've decided to make at least one "most alive choice" each day and post my favorite each Monday. This, of course, is to motivate me to consciously "live juicy"! I hope you'll join me and share your "most alive choice" in the comments section.

You may also post photos of your "most alive moments" in my most alive flickr pool! (If you post a photo in pool, be sure to include your link in the comment)

Summer Solstice Mondo List

"The Whippoorwill, Wednesday, with wings to fly
Four times the sun moves across the sky"
- Seven Time the Sun: Guiding Your Child through the Rhythms of the Day

Our Praying Mantis egg case arrived yesterday and Satch hung it on a shrub in the yard. In two weeks approx. 300 baby mantids should emerge. Satch is convinced he hears it hatching.

In celebration of the upcoming summer solstice which marks the official first day of summer, I offer you the mondo list of what we've been reading and playing with.....


I love toys that allow children to explore their world in new ways. Well, Satch and I had the pleasure of playing with the GeoSafari SeaScope by Educational Insights. It's a 4x telescope than can be used to see below the surface of streams and ponds OR on land (for watching birds or playing pirates - Yo Ho Ho!) . Oh what fun!

Tar Beach is an exquisite book by artist, Faith Ringgold. The gorgeous images are from her story quilt. A work of art transformed into a story! "If one can anyone can...all you gotta do is try".

The Salamander Room is one of Satchel's favorite bedtime books. Beautiful illustrations and magical imaginings! Salamanders are one of Satchel's favorite creatures and he's very good at finding them.

Little Hoot is a sweet book which can also be found in our bedtime book basket beside our bed. It's a story about a wee owl who would like to go bed early for a change. I just adore the illustrations by Jen Corace.

Another book that makes our bedtime fun is Constellations , a glow in the dark guide. We put some glow in the dark stars on the bedroom ceiling too, but my sense of direction got all wonky and I put Libra on the wrong side - DRATS!

About Birds is a delightful children's guide that offers a peek into the world of our feathered friends. We hope to get a closer look as Satchel received a window nesting box for this birthday from his Grands!

Lifetimes is an unusual and interesting book that introduces children to a few of nature's shortest and longest lifetimes. It fosters an appreciation for nature and the cycle of life. Did you know that the lifetime of an earthworm is 6 years? Lifetimes won Learning Magazine's Teachers Choice Award.

The Dandelion Seed is very moving. It's the story of a dandelion, but the message runs far deeper than it's roots...the more you see, the smaller you will feel.

We're enjoying reading about Places of Power, beauty and wisdom according to Native American tradition as told by Native American and conservationist, Michael DeMunn. This ABA Award winner is spiritual and thought provoking and we love it!

Wave is a wordless wonder by artist, Suzy Lee. A story that makes Satch giggle every time!


Fireflies! The story - a classic! The message, the illustrations - magical!



The Kids' Guide to First Aid is a wonderful guide to teach children about the bruises, bumps, burns and stings that often comes with summer fun!

This summer we're going to learn how to read the sky and predict the weather with this fun book!


Satchel's dada is a bit of a weather buff so we're learning all there is to know about the clouds with The Kids' Book of Clouds and Sky.


Explore the world after dark with Night Science for Kids, build a bat house and talk to fireflies! I'm definitely trying the firefly experiment with Satch.

Festivals Family and Food is becoming a dog-eared companion. Not everything in it resonates with me, but it's packed with wonderful ideas to celebrate the seasons...some of which has sparked ideas to create our own family celebrations.

I've adored Lynne Franks ever since her "Seed Handbook" and now she's published this wonderful journal, "Bloom!".

Goodbye 2019, Welcome 2020.

Happy New Years eve, Hogmanay, and Silvester! At the end of the year I try to make a list of moments of beauty that happened during the year to light my way thru the year ahead. I then clean house, put away all the decorations, then I dream up more adventures to begin the circle anew. #hogmanay #silvester #newyearseve2019
1. In January we loaded the car with sleds, and hot cocoa, and met friends at our favorite hill for shenanigans. My son had his winter break sleepover with a pal, and we had popcorn for breakfast at an early matinee with his friends which has become a winter break tradition.

2. In February I finally made the perfect vegan mac n' cheese, creamier and I dare say more delicious than the dairy version. I also found a recipe for the best lentil curry. We broke ground on our home, and helped clean up our LF trail. We went to Eco-Art at Blandy Arboretum.

3. In March we hiked Great Falls again, and saw a Bald Eagle Nest. We watched our home in progress.

4. In April we went to the kite festival in Sherando Park, and took a road trip to visit our in-laws in KC, MO.

5. In May we went to the Baby Goat Snuggle for Mother's Day. Satch caught the first Garter Snake of the season and named her Devi. We closed on our house on our son's birthday which we celebrated as an auspicious moment. We gave him his set of keys, and I captured his happiness in a photo as he opened the door.

6. In June we went to the Native Plant festival where I met my friend and neighbor Kathi. We put our plants in the ground, and found a baby mantis on our porch. Satch and Robert put together his bed that we thrifted on market place. We threw the quilt down in our living room and celebrated with pizza and elderflower lemonade. Then on June 20th we moved in to our own home. That night, the frogs were singing and we recorded them. Satch began archery and won a medal.

7. In July Bessie Coleman Hummingbird sipped from my hand. We had a visit from a Red Spotted Purple and an ichenewman wasp. We watched a Meadow Katydid wash her face on our front porch. And lastly, I felt unpacked enough to take my first kayak paddle on the lake with Robert and Satch. It was near sunset, and beautiful, we saw Egrets.

8. In August, our moon flower bloomed, and we watched a hummingbird moth plunging into the giant blossoms. We had our first back to school bonfire at the lake. We watched the meteor shower from our deck.

And then my husband unexpectedly tragically died, and our world was turned upside down in the most horrific way. At the same time, we were held up by the most loving family, friends and neighbors who supported us and helped us in all the ways needed. This reinforced our belief in the power of community and gave us hope for the world in general. Satch started high school and was happy to report that at his new school, everyone is nice and he's not being bullied. This was our biggest wish after 8 years of being picked on.

9. In September we had a memorial gathering for Robert. Our home was filled with family, friends, neighbors and colleagues. We shared a potluck, memories, and tears. I don't remember much of September beyond that.

10. In October I celebrated my 56th ride around the sun. My son and I went to the lodge, where we were oddly sat a table with three chairs. My cousin, Adelia, came to visit, we climbed Stony Man Summit and had our annual orchard picnic joined by our friends, the Mann family, and our nephew Andy's family. We made apple sauce with some of the apples we picked and froze it for Thanksgiving. We've been doing this since Satch was a tot. We carved our pumpkins and went to the first annual Fall Festival at our lake. It was the first year that Satch didn't go trick or treating, but took joy in answering the door and passing out candy.

11. In November I was visited by my friend Susan who was also a former co-worker and roommate in NYC. She brought bittersweet, and farm fresh eggs, and apples. We shared memories and much laughter over our wild NYC days. Satch and I took our first solo road trip to be with our in-laws for Thanksgiving in KC, MO. We packed delicious food so that we wouldn't have to stop along the way. It was lovely spending time with family, especially the elders for all the reasons. On the drive home, we hit treacherous weather, and witnessed a giant pile up, but we made it through unscathed and grateful. A mysterious parcel arrived from my friend Mary, containing long sold out, and highly coveted celestial sneakers. Friends transformed into Santas, making all my son's wishes come true.

12. In December we did a hard thing, and donated Robert's clothing to a mission that does not sell them, but gives them to men in need. I cried, but I have no doubt that Robert would have wanted that. We had a surprise visit from one of Robert's colleagues and after they left we took a spontaneous drive to Front Royal where we discovered that Jumani was playing and just made it in time. We kept our tradition of opening our home on the winter solstice and were joined by friends and neighbors for a potluck. My son happily opened the door each time the bell rang. We received the gift of light from the Jandas who came to wire us, and now we can not only see our dinner, but we bask in a hygge-esque glow. We kept our winter break cinema tradition and drove to reston to meet friends for the matinee of the new Star Wars Film. We hiked Fox Hollow on Christmas Day with my friend Kathi. We watched a Bald Eagle release at Cool Spring Shenandoah River.

In the beginning of last year it felt as though things were beginning to feel more secure and hopeful for our family. Justisia, Elen of the Ways, and Bridges were my guiding symbols of the year. Some people choose guiding words, I choose symbols. I'm keeping the ladies with me in 2020 since I have no idea where this path is leading me. This is unfamiliar territory and as some of you know, one of my silent fears is getting lost. I kind of feel lost right now. I had all these hopeful ideas and plans, and I suppose they still exist sort of, but I don't know how to get to them because I can't see where I'm going. The forest of grief is dense.

Dear 2019, you were a trickster of the worst kind, but I'm still standing and will not lay down my sword just yet.  Dear 2020, what's good?!?!

A Metaphor for Motherhood and Moving

I was standing right next to this great man the day he told a pair of new parents, "If you feel like your world has been turned upside down it's because it has been". In the last three years this statement has come to mind more oft' than not because it's so darn true. Things I once thought of as important are no longer. Priorities have been shuffled. Satchel is on the top and I'm on the bottom seeing the world from a whole new, and sometimes dizzying, perspective.

I awoke in the middle of the night because my mental clip board would not stop tallying the things I still have to do. As I laid there trying hard not to think about the to-do list that roused me from slumber a storm, that my weather-buff husband predicted, made it's debut on cue. I'm certain that he was smirking in his sleep. I watched the tree tops above us sway while the rain pelted the house. The rains in the south are voluptuous rains, not at all like the sleek droplets in the north. Northern raindrops are often tamed by an umbrella. Southern raindrops make a mockery of that invention. They are the size of grapes....heavy, wet and VERY cold.

It was raining when we returned from our former flat yesterday where we retrieved some of the plants from our former garden. Only two of the Foxgloves that I planted last year had the courage to plant roots in the clay-like soil and I waited all year for these beauties to grow. Sadly, one broke in the car....the one that was blooming. Robert took Satch inside to make him dinner while I transplanted our flora in the rain. "This isn't the real rain", Robert warned, "the real storm will be here sometime in the middle of the night".

I laid there listening to the rain and thought about the little bird I rescued that afternoon and was thankful that I found it before the rains came as it would have surely drowned. I was planting pumpkins in the backyard when I heard Satch giggling behind me, "a birdie...a birdie", and I rather impatiently replied, "there's no birdie down there". "A birdie!", he persisted so I walked over to the basement window well and below the grate was a little bird. I apologized and thanked him for telling me. I lifted off the grate, jumped into the hole and reached for the bird. It opened it's mouth wide when I caught it and I thought it must be either very young or very hungry, but before I could ask Satch to find a worm, it jumped out of my hands and took off into the woods. I whacked my head on the bottom of the window climbing out of the hole and could not find the bird.

I fell back asleep for a short spell before waking again. I padded downstairs bleary-eyed, poured myself a mug of hot organic coffee and tried to think of which item I could scratch off my to-do list without waking Satch. Then I spotted a large wild rabbit eating clover in our front yard and decided to watch it instead. Last week I removed all the weeds, but left the clover with the hope of seeing some rabbits. The site of that brown bunny hopping and nibbling made me forget how tired I was. I named it "Thethuthinnang" and went back to my topsy-turvy world of motherhood and moving boxes.

Most Alive Monday (on Tuesday)

On Saturday we hopped in the car and drove to Shenandoah National Park. We drove right through several clouds and were met with sunny, blue skies on the other side. It's a surreal feeling to be eye level with a cloud while both feet are on the ground. (I just had to add that I think my husband has the sexiest shoulders on earth)










Standing on a peak at 3100 feet, the earth looked like a patchwork of texture and color. The drifting clouds painted huge shadows, like moving puzzle pieces, on the valley floor and two falcons circled effortlessly near the ridge below us. It is hard to imagine from this vantage point that there is so much going on down there - comings and goings, laughter and sadness, births and partings, animals, people, machines. From up here all you can see is oneness. I read that the oldest rocks in the Blue Ridge Mountains were created over a billion years ago and the thought of it made me want to take my shoes off and dance on the first boulder I could find. I want to go back...SOON!

Our most alive choice was to visit the mountains first and then go to the art museum on Sunday and in doing so we discovered that the museum was free because it was the first Sunday of the month. This seems to be the natural rhythm of my life. (Add this to the list of reasons why I 'm the luckiest person on earth)

We walked through the Frida Kahlo exhibit quickly because Satch was clearly not in an artsy mood. Though only the day before, he had a complete melt down when we had to go out and he left our house, clutching his paintbox. During his bath I had to tape a piece of paper to the wall so he could paint while I bathed him. We were almost certain he would bring it into our bed to compete for space between his giraffe, owl, rabbit, dog and digger.















So we left the museum, in search of a park, and walked past the White House.













(Can I say that I find it just a little bit funny that it's behind bars since so much of what this administration does is truly criminal)














Satch spotted a small crack in the wall with dirt in it and began digging.














It doesn't matter where we go, Satch will always find a patch of dirt.

















About Most Alive Monday: I've decided to make at least one "most alive choice" each day and post my favorite each Monday. This, of course, is to motivate me to consciously "live juicy"! I hope you'll join me and share your "most alive choice" in the comments section.

You may also post photos of your "most alive moments" in my most alive flickr pool! (If you post a photo in pool, be sure to include your link in the comment)

Oh What Fun!

Don't let the season pass by without seeing this play...


















We received free passes to see Ken Ludwig's "Twas the Night Before Christmas" at Adventure Theater. If you've never been to Adventure Theater, let me tell you....there's not a bad seat in the house. It's small and intimate which fosters a strong connection between the audience and the performance.

The play opens with a reading of the famous Clement Clark Moore poem,

"Twas the night before Christmas,
When all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring,
not even a mouse"...

but it is interrupted by a mouse stirring cookie batter. The mouse argues that the poem is incorrect because we can plainly see that he is a mouse AND he is stirring. The audience was overcome with laughter.

We soon learn of a plot to steal Santa's Naughty & Nice list and we are whisked away on a wild and hilarious adventure to save Christmas. The acting is superb. The sets are lovely and simple. It's fast paced and funny and will keep children (and parents) laughing from start to finish.


‘TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
November 18, 2011– January 2, 2012

Never Stop Playing

"We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing" - George Bernard Shaw

A list of things I want to do with Satchel:

1. make a castle w/ drawbridge out of a refrigerator box
2. spend a wknd at the ocean and make a giant sand castle
3. have an under the sea party (or turn his room into an under sea theme for a week):

• fill the ceiling with helium balloons of blue and green shades
• tie green crepe paper streamers from green balloons so it looks like kelp
• make paper fish, sea horse, and star fish and hang from other balloons at different levels
• replace light bulb with blue bulb
• cut tiny horizontal slits in a lamp shade so it creates light waves on the wall
• play music like "yellow submarine", "octopus's garden" and dolphin/whale sounds

4. same as above with a space theme and a jungle theme
5. buy a huge roll of bubble wrap and roll around on it
6. winter camping in the living room with a tent - roast tofu dogs and vegetarian marshmallows in our fireplace on branches
7. rainy day - blanket forts in the dining room, make cookies or brownies and read books in the fort
8. bake dragonfly and other bug shaped sugar cookies and drink sun tea
9. melt crayon shavings in wax paper and make stuff to hang in our windows.
(there's a goldmine in the bottom of your crayola box)
*always have crayons, and play-doh and giant rolls of paper for him
10. pumpkin picking and carve really cool pumpkins
11. have picnics inside and outside
12. go peach picking
13. play shadow puppets at bedtime
14. have puppet shows
15. have pillow fights
16. make giant bubbles with the bubble thing
17. build and fly a kite
18. go sledding and build a snow man (when older ice skating), drink hot chocolate
19. watch a rented movie from the sofa-bed while eating popcorn
20. keep a basket near the door for rocks with a sign that reads
"magic rocks, take one or leave one".
21. hang a bird feeder outside his window
22. hang wind chimes near his window
23. go camping outdoors
24. make our own pizza party
25 . spend the night in saugerties light house with friends for a special occasion like a birthday
26 . canoe to bannerman castle
27. go to see the grand canyon and giant redwoods
28. go to europe (italy to see franc, france to see fred, england to see eric)
29. go to canada (old quebec city)
30. go to niagra falls
31. go to letchworth park
32. see cirque du soleil
33. go to outdoor concerts
34. go to the park frequently
35. take lots of walks together and look for magic rocks
36. go to an aquarium a/o good petting zoo (where they are kind to animals)
37. go to baseball games
38. find a pond and feed the ducks whenever we have old bread
39. teach him how to ride a horse and feed it carrots
40. make paper mache masks for halloween
41. build a tree house
42. eat watermelon and spit the seeds at each other
43. water balloon fights
44. watch the perseid and leonid meteor showers
45. look for planets with our telescope
46. dance a lot
47. a birthday parade...with instruments
48. celebrate holidays and make up our own

*In art news...3 of my pregnancy portraits were chosen for an exhibition at the CSMA Gallery in Ithaca, NY. They will be on display in a group exhibition entitled, "Coming Of Age: Art in Celebration of Girls and Women". March 3rd - 31st.

Mom to Mom: Jen Lemen

Did you ever have an encounter that gave you goosebumps and you suddenly realized that you have met one of your tribe, your soul sister? Well, that's what happened when I met Jen. (Now...if I could only meet her in person) 'Nough said!

Mom: Jen Lemen
Of : Madeleine (9)
and Carter (6)
Where: Maryland
Blog: Jen Lemen
and minti (parenting advice)


1. In what ways has becoming a mother changed you?
Becoming a mother helped me become incredibly focused. I had one of these laid back single lives where I worked just enough to pay the bills and spent the rest of the time lying around, analyzing various boyfriends and wondering which book to read next. Having kids brought that kind of quiet and reflection time to a screeching halt--I learned that time was a luxury and that I would need to mine all the meaning and creativity out of each moment if i was going to make it without losing my mind. That kind of mindfulness over time helped me understand how much storytelling and art mean to me and how simple things like the work of mothering can be a portal for a rich, creative life.

2. What is one tip you would like to share about mothering?
I think mothering reveals the places where you could use a little mothering yourself. I try to use those little "I cannot do this" moments as a sign to seek out support and encouragement from someone who's been there and who isn't afraid to tell me I'm still the best mother for these kids even though I don't feel like it at the time. Sometimes I need that push to stick with the challenge and not shy away because some of my soul furniture is getting knocked around. I think, too, that you can't underestimate how much energy it takes to keep little people alive--physically, emotionally, spiritually. To do that well, you really need to be actively engaged in taking care of yourself.

3. What is your creative outlet/medium?
There's no doubt I feel most creative when I'm riding my bike, talking to strangers, driving long distances, sitting by the ocean, wandering around big cities or having heavy/deep/real talks with my kids. Those little adventures usually find their way into the cards, kits and books I create for my Etsy store. I've found the best way for me to tell a soul story is through simple line drawings filled in with ink and watercolor. That is my chief creative outlet.

4. How do you find time for creativity? (tell me how you juggle, mommyhood, art, and guiding new souls into the world as a doula)
Over the years, creativity has taken over a large portion of my waking hours. My kids are growing up in and out of my studio with ten different projects strewn all over every table in the house, so in my case, the more appropriate question might be, "How do you find time for your kids?" :) I rely heavily on the little rituals we've created--a regular pizza outing with Carter and bike riding adventures with Madeleine--in order to keep the space open for honest, soulful conversation. My kids still crawl in bed with me most nights, and I can't emphasize enough how this kind of physical connection keeps us close.

I still have to push constantly for the time I need to finish big projects--especially when my house is the prime time destination for every latchkey kid on the block--but the reality is, once I named my creative life as my "work", I have more time than most women I know.

My doula practice has definitely taken a backseat as I've prioritized my art--I just don't have the time to do art, doula work AND kids well right now. Even so, I'm thankful for those years where birth was the thing for me. I learned so much about what women can do when they own their choices and have the confidence to be honest about what they really want. I didn't know that kind of courage was an option for me in my own births, and I suffered for it. Doula work showed me what kind of creativity is possible, even in the most challenging circumstances.

5. Why do you blog/journal?
I blog as a way to work through my process as an artist, dreamer and mother. I blog as a way to be honest about how much I struggle sometimes and also how happy simple things make me. I blog as a way of finding out again and again that I'm not alone, that something great and loving is holding us all. I blog as a way to offer hope and beauty to strangers. I blog because I believe in the power of the people and that even one tiny voice can make the world a better place.

6. Which blogs do you frequent?

This is definitely an incomplete list, but here are a few I keep coming back to:

Magpie-Girl (Rachelle Mee Chapman)
Notes to Self (Kyran Pittman)
Cool People I Know (Stephanie Roberts)
Superhero Journal (Andrea Scher)
Maypapers (Tracey Clark)
Wish Jar Journal (Keri Smith)
Horse Pig Cow (Tara Hunt)
Chookooloonks (Karen Walrond)
Surfette (Lisa Stone)
Sage Said So (Sage Cohen)

I really love to read the blogs of people I've met or know in real life--that's almost essential for me to stick with a blog longterm.

7. Who are some bloggers that you would like to meet? I've met lots of my blogging sheroes over the course of the last year (thank you, Blogher!), but I would still love to meet Susannah Conway, Kelly Rae Roberts, Denise of BohoGirl fame, WannabeHippie, sarah jane rhee and La Vie en Rose. I suspect these women are my soulsisters.

Mom to Mom: Shelley Krause

It's February, and it is with great pleasure that I introduce you to....

Mom: Shelley
Of: D, born on 9/3/01
("Five and a third" as I write this)
Where: NJ
Blog: But Wait, There's More!






1. In what ways has becoming a mother changed you?

As soon as I opened myself up to the possibility of parenting,
I could feel the changes start. I spent the length of my pregnancy
practicing patience, because I knew myself well enough to know
that those muscles were going to need to be in MUCH better shape
once a small someone joined our family. There's still room for
growth, but I've definitely gotten better. Since becoming a mother
I have also become much more politically active. I carry in my
heart this image of my almost-grown son asking me questions like,
"What did you do about the war in Iraq?" or "Did you ever do anything
about AIDS, mom?" Who knows if we'll ever have those conversations,
but I feel this intense responsibility to live into my expressed values
now, to "walk the walk." I am more willing to say "no," and more
aware in general of time as a precious, non-renewable resource.
I don't listen to the radio anymore in the mornings, because I can't predict
when the next utterance of "roadside bomb" or "suicide bomber" might
be, and I don't want those phrases in D's head. I spend much less time
in retail space now than I did in my pre-parenthood years, again because
I don't want that to be a significant part of D's childhood. I am
simultaneously proud and humbled that I gave birth. Sometimes now, for
fun, when a healthcare person is apologizing for a needle stick or some
such, I'll look at them and say, "Please. I gave birth." I love that.

So much has changed. I am more in love with my partner,
and with life in general, because of D's inadvertent role as the
daily bringer of wonder and goofiness into our lives.
I look at adolescent boys completely differently (might ours turn
out like that one?). I am constantly running on two clocks: mine,
and his. I have largely let go of the concept of sleeping in. My
television-watching has dwindled to almost nil. I spend more
time at the public library, but less time reading. I think nothing
of finishing off leftover whatever. Oh wait... that was true before. :-)

2. What is one tip you would like to share about mothering?

Judge not, lest ye be judged. Seriously, moms are so invested
in their decisions (midwife or doctor, homebirth or hospital,
breastfed or bottle, on-demand or scheduled feedings, cloth
or store-bought or no diapers, co-sleeping or crib sleeping,
uncut or circumcised, TV or no, video games or no, and
the list goes on and on) that the path to holier-than-thou-itude can be
super-short. If you start choosing up sides you'll find out pretty
quickly how lonely life can be. By the same token, I think it's
important to decide early on what things you will not "up with put," as
my father would say, and commit to sticking to them. External
influences can be very hard to resist.

(My non-blogging life partner's answer to this is so fabulous that I
have to share it: "Say 'yes' reflexively, and 'no' selectively.")

3. What is your creative outlet/medium?

I blog, sing, teach high school students, bake, co-write
nonsense songs with my son, whip out my camera at a
moment's notice, and write essays, poetry, and a
teensy bit of fiction.

4. How do you find time for creativity?

Stolen moments, mostly. I ignore the mess that is our house,
and my partner's pre-sleep routine takes longer than mine.
I pathetically eat lunch in my office while hunched
over my laptop (but no crumbs in the keyboard, I swear!).
I've also lately been "swapping out" listening to the news on the
way to work in favor of writing haiku... at least some mornings!

5. Why do you blog/journal?

I started blogging when I was making the shift back to
waged work after spending three years mothering our son
at home. It was a way to keep my friends au courant with
my search without having to slog through the depressing
(at least at the beginning) details. Then I discovered that blogging
is a great way to chronicle the little things you think you'll remember
but in fact probably won't. Plus, as a natural extrovert and ham,
I like the idea of having an "always on" presence in the world that
enables people to connect with me on their own terms, as their lives
and schedules permit. I love that strangers and I can find each other
and discover that we are actually members of the same tribe.
Finally, I have recently found, with prompts like those at One Deep Breath,
Mama Says Om, and Sunday Scribblings, that blogging has become
a way to reaffirm my sense of myself as a writer. So the list of reasons
is a moving but growing target.

6. Which blogs do you frequent?

Right now, I'm grooving on Sassafras Mama, a wrung sponge,
GenreCookShop, and Beyond the Fields We Know.
I check in on brainhell almost every day to see how he's doing.
And ze frank's daily video blog has become "my
show..." I even helped get the Running Fool across the
country.

7. Who are some bloggers that you would like to meet?

Other than you, Wendy? :-)
I'd actually love to meet everyone who's ever posted a
kind, thoughtful, odd, or funny comment at But Wait, There's More!,
and I'd love to meet just a few of the other people to whom I feel
indebted: Keri Smith of WishJar Journal, Patti Digh of 37days,
Susan and Jennifer of One Deep Breath, Stefan Bucher of DailyMonster,
Dana and Liz Elayne of Poetry Thursday, and all the wonderful people
who are pouring their time and talent out into the deepening ocean of
gifts that the blogosphere has become for me.

Whew. That was fun. Thanks for listening.

* My apologies for the odd line breaks. Blogger seems to have a bit of a bug. Text is correct in preview, but posts wonky. - Wendy

Holiday Gift Picks

Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things - Rodgers & Hammerstein

T'is the season! I thought I would share some great holiday gifts for the wee folk. On this holiday, we look for imaginative, creative indoor toys for cold weather play. Here are the pics on our Xmas list:

Satch is seriously into building and we have all sorts of sets. At the moment we're loving the ZOOB Mover by Infinitoy! ZOOB is an award winning, open-ended building toy that snaps, pops and clicks together. What makes the ZOOB Mover so interesting is that it comes with a little remote controlled contraption to transform the creation into a kinetic sculpture, or bug or robot or whatever the wee one can dream up. See video below a bit of coolness...

Infintoy also manufacters the Quizmo, an interactive palm-sized quiz game that knows the answers to 693,135 questions. It's a brilliant travel toy in my humble opinion. The generous folks at Infintoy will give you a chance to win a Quizmo at the end of this post.

Since Satch loves his marble track so much, we thought we would expand upon his marble play with Kerplunk, a game that I loved when I was a child.

Speaking of marble love...the generous folks at Fundex sent us a sample of Labyrinth to try. It's a classic, high quality, wooden marble maze that takes precision, concentration and patience. It's great for those cold winter days. For ages 8+.

And we'll be sending peepers to our puppet lubbin' peeps! They make great stocking stuffers, & party favors.

As you know, Satch is learning to read and since he doesn't go to preschool, I've been researching products that will help nurture his interest in a fun and natural way. There are some wonderful products on the market that foster learning through play and would make ideal holiday gifts for the Pre-K crowd....

We love the Simple Word Puzzles by eeBoo. We received a sample and gave them a test run in our home. My son really enjoyed them. It was a great confidence booster for him. The words are simple, though there are a few that will certainly challenge beginners. The illustrations are as lovely as one would expect from eeBoo.

Another learning game that we had the good fortune of sampling is Er-u-di-tion, the sight word game. There are several ways to play this game that will accommodate the skill level of various players. The color coded cards enable beginner readers to play along with advanced readers. The game was created by Denise and Kelly Bossard to help their children learn the sight words that were part of the Kindergarten curriculum. The Bossards designed a game that would help their children learn to read in a fun and engaging way, through play. Er-u-di-tion is the winner of Creative Child Magazine's, 2009 Game of the Year Award!

Another nifty gift for the wees who are trying to learn days and months is the Sukie Perpetual Calendar. I looked at several different calendars for Satch trying to find just the right one. I liked the idea of a magnetic calendar, but I couldn't find one that was fun to look at. Then I found out that our beloved Sukie created a perpetual calendar, so I bought it. It's made of durable heavy gauge cardboard and is way too adorable. It is designed as a desk calendar, but I attached it to the refrigerator with a magnetic bulldog clip. What makes this calendar extra cool is that kidlets can not only turn the dials to change the day, date, month, but there is a dial for weather too. We love the little tree house!

We always like to include books in the gift mix and this year we're getting Satch...


Around the Year by Elsa Beskow. We just love her other books and this little book is perfect for the Pre-K set who are learning their days of the week, and months.


We're also getting Return of the Light to add to our Winter Book Basket.

Speaking of books...the cool peeps at Black Dog Publishing are offering a 40% discount on Making Stuff for Kids to all Mother Rising Readers until December 31st. If you'd like to purchase a discounted copy of this book, just email Jess @ blackdogonline.com and let her know you're from Mother Rising. She'll place your order directly.

If you would like a chance to win the aforementioned wicked cool Quizmo toy, simply leave a comment on this post by midnight on Saturday November 28th. The winner will be picked by random generator and announced on Monday November 30th. *Please include your email so that I can contact you in the event that you win.

Most Alive Monday will resume on December 7th!

( See last year's gift picks here.)

Most Alive Monday: New Terrain

" Time and again you'll be stripped of your preconceptions, judgments, ideas, theories and opinions of motherhood and left to go straight on through the inexplicable experience itself"
- Karen Maezen Miller

Three years old is a whole new terrain. When things get bumpy (oh and they DO get bumpy), I try to hold a happy moment in my mind. Like this one above...watching Satch and R sharing a pizza together.

I made soup for dinner and since we didn't have any crusty bread in the house to go with it, I figured I would crumble up some soy bacon to sprinkle on top. Little did I know this would prove to be an unthinkable horror to my son who, upon my placing the bowl on the table, screamed and wailed, " NO NO NO it's broken...I don't eat broken...broken doesn't taste good". It was an unbelievable scene.

Note to self, add "broken things" to his list of loathes:

• anything green
• anything that has so much as a speck of tomato sauce
• taking a bath
• wearing his coat
• using the potty

*AND remember anything that he loves today may be loathed tomorrow!

He insisted that we had more soy bacon. I begged to differ and pleaded my case. I validated his feelings. Still, he was inconsolable. This went on for some time until I completely lost my mind (as well as my hearing) so I went to the kitchen and nearly tore the freezer door off in anger and frustration looking for more soy bacon. Thankfully, I found another package of soy bacon (so now he thinks I'm a liar) and cooked a piece for him.

Then after listening to his lengthy monologue about how broken pieces don't taste good, he picked up his perfect and overly processed soy bacon slice and accidentally dropped it on the floor. It shattered into a million pieces and the whole ugly scene made an encore performance.

By the time I returned with yet another piece of perfectly formed soy bacon, my soup was cold. I kept wondering why the situation became so unnerving and what I could have done differently. Then I decided that instead of beating myself up over it, I would hold a thought of something that made me smile...Satch and his friend sharing a pizza.

*About Most Alive Monday: I've decided to make at least one "most alive choice" each day and post my favorite each Monday. This, of course, is to motivate me to consciously "live juicy"! I hope you'll join me and share your "most alive moment" in the comments section so we may inspire each other.

Most Alive Monday

Fortitude and Fiffer Feffer Feffs....
Last week, before we left, we built a fort in the living room and read, "Wolf" by Sara Fanelli and Dr. Seuss' "ABC book".


The "vegetarian feast for my peeps" on Saturday was a smash hit! Here are some highlights:

• A beautiful sunny day surrounded by shiny happy people whom I love and good eats.
• Two of my friends brought very symbolic treats...Holly & Charlie brought cupcakes from Magnolia Bakery (the best cupcake EH-VA!) and Diane brought Tate's chocolate chip cookies from the Hamptons (my most favorite cookie in the world).
• My oldest friend, Nancy & her tribe brought Satch a stack of wonderful books, including "Owl Moon" that was on his wish list.
• Baby Sanai graced us with her radiant presence. I held her and basked in her light while her parents ate their food.
• My friend Renee and family came with a giant platter of yummy fruit and her delightful children happily experimented with a new toy that I'm reviewing. More on this later!
• My munchkin friend Jenny, who is no longer a munchkin but a teenager, stopped by wearing a necklace that she made herself! (She was joined by her mom & mom's fiancé...and brownies!)
• Josette and Nor popped in with little Mila and brought Satch some awesome Ella Jenkins recordings!
• My mom made her famous cookies and flitted about on the outskirts despite my pleas to join us...so I made a joke of it and told everyone that I locked my mother in the house.
• I only scorched 4 veggie burgers on my mom's gorgeous grill. My Asian slaw, roasted new potatoes and salsa were BIG hits!

Sunday, we visited my aunt and her daughters whom I love so very much. Cackie presented me with a box of goodies she uncovered from grandparents basement. I'm still a bit overwhelmed by this gesture which included my grandmother's Kitchen Aid mixer; vintage buttons, my grandfather's old railroad lantern (he was a conductor on the Long Island Railroad); some amazing artifacts that once belonged to my late father; and two vintage polaroid cameras that produce this and this! There was also a bag of gifts for Satch from Cackie J (since childhood I've called the two Carol's in my life "Cackie") and Rebecca...this excellent book and this excellent book, this sweet little mouse finger puppet and this cool contraption! I was so blown away by it all that I left Satchel's beloved digger behind, so my aunt drove to the restaurant where we were having lunch to drop it off so Satch wouldn't freak out.

(sigh) beauty all around...

*I've decided to make at least one "most alive choice" each day and post my favorite each Monday. This, of course, is to motivate me to consciously "live juicy"! I hope you'll join me and share your "most alive choice" in the comments section.

Between Heart and Light

May it be its own force field
and dwell uniquely
between the heart and the light"
- John O'Donohue (To Bless the Space Between Us)

How are you? We are well and grateful for our wellness.  I am helping in ways I can and where I can and when I can.  I'm doing what I know to be good medicine for me to remain steady for my cub.  I can't believe that we lost R in August and now we are living in a pandemic.

I keep vigil for any moment of beauty no matter how small, like the visit from the goldfinch and I let that twinge of joy land lightly in my soul and I stay with it until it flies off to wherever it needs to go next, leaving me grateful for the brief respite.

It sounds crazy, but even though I've lost the part time jobs that took me months to find I care more about our lives right now than I do about a check...and that's not because I don't need an income, I desperately do, but our lives are not a commodity and there is something very wrong with a society where so few have so much, and so many have so little.

I decided that while we are home bound, we will not live by the clock. I've removed all screen time restrictions so my son can connect with friends and stay up late and sleep late which he normally doesn't do.

I put together that standing raised bed, and started my veg garden. I knitted a heavy blanket out of a gigantic yarn, that was on my to-try list for 2 years, using my arms instead of needles so it became a kind of dance or vinyasa. And I made paper blooms to fill vases. I'm trying to learn to sew masks.
I'm making the comfort food that my ancestors made, like my great grandfather's soup from Calabria. I'm making bread, and breaking bread, and keeping the cookie jar full. I'm bowing to the mountain when I finish my morning exercise. I'm opening the windows to let the valley wind sweep through the house so hard it slams door so I'm using large smooth stones that I collected from my late father's favorite beach on the north shore of long island to keep the doors from slamming. I'm using tech to my advantage and connecting with friends on the other side of the planet, their voices feel good in my ears and my eyes tear as we recount our memories across the span of years and ocean.

We are listening to Dan Bern and Lorenzo Bertocchini whenever we can connect. It lifts our spirits and as Lorenzo said, "they are songs but also prayers and we are distant but together".

I keep an led candle lit in the window each night where it will remain until this nightmare is over. I watch all the sunsets. I look for the planets, and whatever constellation I can identify. I make nectar, fill the feeder, and wait for the return of the hummingbirds. I listen for the conversations of birds that I can name without looking, like in childhood when I awoke to the voices of my elders and knew who was awake and at the table.

And when I feel the horror of this pandemic clenched around my ankles, I step out on the deck and breathe deep the moonlight, then I draw a bath, surround it with candles, and soak until the grip loosens and I once again feel steady on my feet. I fall asleep to my son's laughter as he plays games remotely with his friends. I long for the return of my own laughter, but I find myself tearful.

And I think that, just maybe, my tears are not only sorrow for the world, not only a reverence for the acts of beauty and love and courage that I am witnessing within this horror, but also maybe, a kind of salty rivulet of hope that for once this will push us all to a truer and more infinitely tender connection.

Peace Out : Holiday Prep

Till ringing, singing on its way, 
The world revolved from night to day, 
A voice, a chime, 
A chant sublime 
Of peace on earth, good-will to men! - Longfellow






















There's chili in the crock and it smells soooo good that I need to leave the house because it's torture.  Tonight my friend Maezen arrives with several other lovely souls to sup 'round my table.  Tomorrow, I leave for her zen retreat!  This will be the longest I've ever sat down and shut up... probably in my entire life.  Wish me luck, won't you?  I'm going to need it.

I've taken a few measures to help stave off my monkey mind...things scratched off my to-do list so I hopefully won't think about them while I should be thinking about nothing.

Our holiday cards were mailed last week...

and the calendars are on their way to the grands...

Satch is passing out his gratitude cards each day...

and the teacher gifts are ready to go.

The gifts that I ordered for my boy last month are already arriving so I've been wrapping and hiding them each day, while awaiting for Santa to arrive with his gifts.

The only thing left to do is to get the tree and decorate for the holiday.  Something to look forward to upon my return.

That...and the annual Solstice party...

And waiting for Santa to arrive!
Peace out, people.