21 Rides Around the Sun

Dear Satchel,



Happy 21st ride around the sun, a milestone birthday!  Happy twelve trillion two hundred sixty four billion miles (12, 264,000,000 )! 



This has been a pinnacle year!  You are now an auto mechanic and working towards advancement in your career!  You've moved into your first apartment with a friend and you're navigating life as an adult.
You swooped in like a hero when my car wouldn't start, and fixed it for me.  We had a lovely adventure last month - a road trip to see DakhaBrakha, Natural Bridge, and Falling Springs Falls.  I look forward to more adventures with you in the future, as we each follow our dreams.

We will keep our tradition of going out to eat to celebrate your birth.   I look forward to spending time with you and catching up at Taco Fuego. 



Twenty one years ago today you entered this world in time for brunch.  The window to our room faced Little Italy, which your dad and I snarkily called micro Italy because it was so small in comparison to the LiTa neighborhood (Little Italy) in NYC.  The sun was shining and there was a bird on the window ledge looking in at us.  I could hear the nurses talking about how "what a cutie" you were and one of them said, "OMG he knows his name".  I told her that we talked to you by name during the entire pregnancy.  You were peacefully aware, taking in all the new sights and sounds.  It was an extraordinarily beautiful day because you were in the world.



You have filled my life with laughter, creativity, adventure and joy!  May you always know how deeply loved and admired you are....and that I celebrate you...today and forever! 

Thank you for being YOU!

Thank you for being my son.

Thank you for the reciprocal gift of unconditional love and all the ways you show it.  




(for beautiful you are my world, my true)





Happy 21st ride around the sun, dear Satchel! 



All my love,

Mama 

(posted at the time of your birth)

April - Better than I could've imagined

"Rivers are fluid bridges—channels of communication between separate worlds. They link one bank to the other, the past to the future..." - Elif Shafak (There are Rivers in the Sky)

Wherein I had an adventure in NY with dear ones. 

4/22 - Wednesday:

 Upon arrival, I met up with my soul sister H.  We met went to visit M at her concert in Time Sq for a quick hug, then went for some Thai Food.  It was so lovely to spend time together.  Afterwards I walked down to Union Square to meet up with S.  We went back to his place uptown to sleep.

4/23 - Thursday:

In the morning I grabbed a latte and took a walk in the park where I met a kindred spirit - an artist who worked with psychiatric patients and a volunteer gardener.  S jokingly sent a text that he was filing a missing persons report. When I returned he pretended to be talking to the police.  We drove to the Butterfly exhibit and then to my favorite pizza joint.  We went to the Gelato Factory and ended the day with Jacob Collier and Chris Thile at The Blue Note. I enjoyed the playful connection that the two musicians shared.

4/24 - Friday:

The following morning I took a walk to The Cloisters and on the way back I met a dad with 2 wee boys looking for bugs.  I asked if I could play too and found some Isopods for his bug jar.  It was fun playing with them and reminded me playing with my son when he was a tot.  When I returned we went for a bite in the garden at a nearby cafe, then to lovely Little Island and walked the High Line.  We went to Sam Yoo's place, Golden Diner and shared Sun Choke salad, Vegetalian, and Portobello Reuben Quesadilla.  We ended the day at the Met to see La Boheme, where we stared at the Chagall and hilarity ensued via improved opera near the water dispenser.

4/25 - Saturday:

In the morning I went for a quick walk in the park before we headed to Cold Spring to visit Little Stony Point in the rain.  We stopped for Bagels and Linzer Tarts to take with us.  We talked about my plan to downsize, and the possibility of moving back home to NY.  The drive was lovely and the view from the river bank reminded me of the fjords of Iceland.  He asked, "Is it every thing you had hoped for?"  I said, "It's better than I could've imagined".  We continued to the cliff for another beautiful view.  We then drove to Catskill, stopped for ice cream and sneaked into an event at the Thomas Cole. Afterward, we went to see Mountain Jam Band before crashing at his home overlooking Olana. 

4/26 - Sunday:
In the morning, I grabbed a latte to go, and he drove me back to Penn to catch my train.  I thought about both H and S suggesting that I move back home to NY.  Although I considered it many times over the years,  I didn't think it was doable and it never occurred to me, at the time, to look north of Manhattan.  Yet standing there on the bank of the Hudson, that rainy Sunday, I felt pulled as strongly as when I longed to move to Manhattan (and did) decades ago.  The pull is palpable, like the river itself.  I shall investigate — and chart my course.

Park of the kindred spirit

Malachite at Butterfly Vivarium

Cloisters Fountain

Fjords: Little Stony Point

Thomas Cole

Ode to March - Deligent Efforts to Expand Delight

You may do this, I tell you, it is permitted.
Begin again the story of your life. — Jane Hirshfield

Wherein the cub and I took a road trip to see Dakhabrakha.  The last time we saw them was in 2017.  They were phenomenal — as always!  We enjoyed the charming town of Lexington, hiked to see Natural Bridge, and adventured over to Falling Springs ( a falls declared by Thomas Jefferson to be the only remarkable falls in the county — he was right ).  On the way back we stopped to photograph an abandoned "santitarium" and I couldn't help think of what a waste to let it decay when it could be used for housing the unhoused in someway.  We made it home in time to get ready the opening reception of "Reclaimed".  The cub said, "I'm proud of you for showing your work again —I told all my friends".  This meant the world to me.  Dr. R came with her two daughters, as well as coworkers and friends which touched my heart greatly.  The following day I joined a vernal pool expedition at SRSP.  Serenading by Spring Peepers, I saw signs of Spring — salamander eggs and spermatophores!  A dear friend and her family were stuck in Qatar, and gratefully extricated after a horrifying 11 days. There was a crazy storm with a tornado watch which produced a lovely rainbow.  Had lunch with friends. I watched sunsets and sunrises and began working on ideas for the next exhibit in June.  I cherished a phone call from a dear friend and laughed at her daughter interjecting in the background, "Go get 'em, Wendy!"  I listened to this Tibetan Monk talk about peace and walked with him and a group of peaceful folk.  Began planning some strategic joy and magical sidequests with the dear one next month.  

Vernal Pool Exhibition

Bring me the sunrise in a cup...

Lysander Salamander

Excuse me while I kiss the sky!

IYKYN

Spring Reminder

Ode to Feburary - Unbearably Cold, Gleefully Short

Wherein, my submission was selected for juried exhibition.  With cabin fever during an unusual and long cold spell, I purchased cleats for my boots so I could trek out to see the frozen lake.  I drove to intercept the monks on their peace walk.  Longing for Spring and for light.

There are few things as startling
as encountering an unearthly glow in the wild.

And then the librarians arrived.

Ode to January: Thrive

Physical therapy and arm pain, and more motion little by little.  The cub stopped by for a New Year Charceterie.  We had an aurora!  By some strange twist of fate, I got my four 10 hr shifts back!  They  offered me my ideal shift in April of last year, then abruptly rescinded because of "coverage issues".  Apparently VH is having financial issues and is cutting back the hours of employees or forcing them to take their hard earned PTO.  Grateful to our management for finding this work around for us. We had a really crazy snow storm followed by ice.  The boys next door shoveled me out.  I was able to work from home which was a blessing. I could no longer afford to keep my BCBS insurance so I switched to my employer's insurance.  Not thrilled, but it will save me a lot of money.  Comfort foods were made.  

Ode to December

Wherein (for the first time ever) I didn't decorate for the holidays, nor wrap the cub's gifts because of my broken arm.  The cub and his friend joined me for dinner.  I bought him his first coffee maker.  He was thrilled.  He bought me really cool earbuds.  It was good to see him.  The Juncos arrived right on time.  We had a bit of snow. 

I saved up for an espresso machine and now my lattes are legit.  I'm obsessed.  I don't know how I lived without it all these years, though I did make a respectable mock latte.  I keep remembering the tiny Krups espresso maker I had in the 80s that disappeared in one of my moves.    

Our clinic microwave died when a coworker tried to nuke her lunch. I sent this email to the entire team to inform them, and enjoyed hearing the bouts of laughter throughout the day:

We gather here today to honor Mike the Microwave…faithful friend, tireless spinner, and the only member of the team who could make a frozen burrito feel warm inside.

Mike lived a full life, measured in beeps. He heated up leftovers without judgment, even when those leftovers really should’ve been thrown out. He faced splatters, spills, and rumor has it there were sparks between him and Alivia.

We remember his optimism: every reheat cycle, he believed, against all evidence, that maybe this time you’d actually take your food out before it got cold again.

Mike is survived by his siblings: Toaster, who insists he’s a “real” appliance; Refrigerator, who pretends not to know any of us; and Keurig, the flashy new cousin who’ll never live up to Mike’s legacy.

Rest in peace, Mike. May your spirit continue to warm our hearts… at least to medium-high.

 

 

Ode to November: Make It A Meal Worth Having

Let me celebrate you now as you stand before me
while you can still hear the cheer.
Don’t let me wait until you’re gone to be fond.
Don’t let fear of embarrassment stifle my delight.
How the worry of impending shame leads us
to talk about love only when there can be no response.
Derision is so easy to dispense and a brickbat is so easy to receive,
an acknowledgement of what our self-loathing knew already.
We fumble and blush when praised or when praising,
waiting to be caught out, rejected.
I loved their book. I loved their art. I loved their mind.
I loved them - past tense.
It's hard not to fear the present, hard to be present,
hard not to bend under cynical stare,
but to keep the volume of things unsaid,
the regrets of silence as thin as they can be.
Let them take up little space on the shelf in your head.
Don't be afraid of joy.
Don't fear showing your love.
Don't conceal yourself for so long that
eventually you can no longer be found.
And all of this I said in my head as you walk by,
but not anymore.
Not anymore.
I love the bones of you.  ~ Robin Ince

Wherein I went to a Swing Dance where they had a wonderful live band, and danced the night away.  Watched another sunrise, mesmerized by a large wave cloud, when I heard what sounded like rain behind me, but it was a flock of birds...standing still, hearing their wings was exhilarating and beautiful.  broke my arm on a hike, but continued to watch the sunset before driving myself to the ED.  A week later, I drove one handed to Raptor-fest where I held a sweet little burrowing owl and I can't quite find words for the joy of that.  Soaked in the moody skies and changing leaves in SNP with my long awaited lifetime pass.  I saved up for a fairly decent espresso machine, and I don't know how I've lived without it all these years and survived on mock-lattes.  

Broken Humerus 11/2

Sling on my right wing, owl on the left.