Ode to November: Small Magic / Pay Attention
"Set up your life so that you inner child feels safe, your present self feels seen, and your future self feels sacred." - Dr. Jen
Wherein I try to be more diligent about finding a few moments of pause for the small magic:
I stepped on the deck predawn to sip my latte and admire the bright stars, when a meteor shot over my head reminding me that the geminids are coming. (I told a patient to mark his calendar for the meteor shower and he said that he will be discharged the day before so we won't be able to compare notes. I told him that it's okay because we will are under the same sky and that I will think of him out there living his best life watching meteors. He smiled and said, "that's really beautiful, thank you".)
There were stunning sunrises and sunsets, and lake fog. There were two trail hikes, one with a neighbor and the other solo. There was a new beautiful book of poetry written by a longtime acquaintance. And a fun poem collaboration with a dear friend of a few decades. The cub bought car #3. I'm inching closer to my 500 contact hours needed to register for another national exam and that's when I realized that in addition to my f/t job, I have also been working my p/t job for over a year. I prepared a small vegetarian Thanksgiving feast for myself and my son, but I ate alone as he was working. I had off the Friday and Saturday after the holiday and the 3 days in a row felt like a vacation. After catching up on chores, I tried to just relax for a change before my Sunday shift. The native garden and herb garden is prepped for winter. The heat is on, and so are the flannel sheets.
I feel traumatized by the recent election outcome, and will never forgive those that put him in office because the first time could have been due to ignorance, but not the second time. I avoid reading anything that has his face on it, and turn off NPR if I hear his voice.
*I had a brief 9/11 related nightmare where I found myself sitting in a high-rise facing a large window and trying to make a decision as to whether I should take a training in NC or NYC. I think NYC entered the dream because my brain was subconsciously contemplating a recent job offer from a friend/doc whom I adore and used to work with. I noticed out the window to my left, a portion of WTC and I felt a wave of dread. Next I heard that unforgettable roar and a large black building nearby began collapsing. I heard a woman shout, "those assholes" and we headed towards the elevators. I didn't see a staircase. I was holding my black cat, Cinder. I woke up.
I am offering myself these countermeasures as buoys for the dark season: some good books for xmas (2 new, 2 used), delicious food, sunrises and sunsets, lakeside moments, audio books on the treadmill and during commute, my classical / ambient playlist, fireplace moments, candlelight.
 | ||
| Sunrise in pajamas |
 |
| When texts read as poems & you collaborate to make it so. Official dx is "good crazy" |
 |
| Rooftops and Mountains |
 |
| Hike with Jean |
 |
| MOONRISE |
 |
These lines in particular: “as if she hid the animal beneath” “a scent I thought of loneliness” “But that hushed room. Those flowers.” “as if she were a river” “the hummingbirds were a sign I couldn’t ignore.” |
 |
| When I thought I could rest a moment before chores. They said, "think again." |
 |
| Lake fog |
 |
| Gram's Scottish Mashed Turnips. |
Labels: #Skyhouse
