Monday, February 01, 2016

Fog on Frozen Lake

"Look at the lake!", he shouted.
I found a place to park and walked the edge for a closer look.


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Saturday, January 30, 2016

Fox Love

She closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. When she opened them, the fox was standing at the edge of the patio right outside her studio door. As the fox scampered off, she ran upstairs to get her camera. Her heart is still racing.


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Friday, January 29, 2016

Blizzard : Before, During and After

( My Poe in the snow)

Things I pondered whilst awaiting the plow: we complain about how stressed and tired we are and how we need more time off, then Mother Nature snow's us in and we complain that we can't get out of the house. It sucks shoveling all that snow for sure, but we are a given a choice as to the memory we make of it...

(Blizzard Blooms)

 We made ice lanterns.

We typed letters to faraway friends.

We made our Soul Silly

We dug out...

(The Big Dig - S digging out our neighbor)

and we dug in.

(Sweet Potato, Walnut & Goat Cheese Taco)

We made ice cream out of snow!

(Blizzard 2016 Flavor!)

We tasted icicles!

(every flavor of sky)

We stuffed our car full of sleds and pals and went sledding.

Our neighbors decided to carve the mound of snow into a fire ring, complete with snow benches and that night we enjoyed a bonfire under the full wolf moon with wine for the bigs and hot cocoa for the littles. 

When we remember the blizzard of 2016, we will remember that beautiful night together around the fire...

and the stars...

and falling into bed smelling of wood smoke and moonlight...

and we'll remember all the fun things we did, not how many days it took to get plowed. out. 

We will always remember it as the one when we made magic out of a mess.

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Thursday, January 28, 2016

Fill, Fold, Repeat

Snowbound from the blizzard.  My boy and his pals play in the living room.  Loudly.  So loudly that it becomes unbearable.  Several times I request that they lower their voices.  I didn't want to end their play, or the noise altogether.  Just the volume.  I felt a headache coming on.  You know the feeling.  I surrendered, took medication, then resigned myself to the kitchen where I began preparing homemade vegetarian wonton soup. 


it was all I could do.

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Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Postcards From the Edge

I want to get personal about why this event means so much to me.

I want to do that by introducing you to my late friend Jon aka Sheena aka Candy Apple.   It was the 80s and Jon came out to the Hamptons (where I was living at the time) to visit a dear friend who lived in the cottage beside mine. That is how I met him, and it was the beginning of a friendship that I will never forget.
I remember how he would sneak over and tape a sign to my bedroom window so it would be the first thing I would see when I woke up and lifted the shade. Signs that read: "I'm watching you", and "I'm telling your mother", and other such silliness.

I remember that whenever he had just a little too much to drink, he would start speaking in fake french to anyone and everyone within earshot. I remember the looks on those faces as they tried so hard to understand what he was saying, trying to be polite, when he wasn't actually saying anything at all.

I remember how whenever anyone left his home, he would always shout, "THANK GOD THEY LEFT", every single time, no matter who it was.

I remember how he called everyone, "Blanche".

I remember how my face would hurt from laughing and how those little muscles between each rib that you never seem to notice suddenly became painfully noticeable.

I remember that most, the laughter, which was really just a bi-product of how much he loved living his life, and how fully he did that.

Shortly after I moved to NYC, he called me to come over. He wanted me to take a look at his eye. "I think", he said, "it's some sort of sty, but maybe you'll know". And so I did. And I never could get that day out of my head. How when I looked at his eye, I could hear myself swallow and how I could not say the words "Kaprosi Sarcoma", but instead heard my own voice as though disconnected from my body saying, "that's not a really need to see a doctor". I don't remember what we did that day because I can only remember that one moment, that and the flashback of the man with the cane that I saw at a party years before covered in lesions, how we locked eyes because he knew he was dying and he knew that I knew too. I never knew his name, but I knew too much.

My friend did go to the doctor, and it was KS, and the rest of what happened felt like standing at the front door of the express train, not being able to see where you're going, whizzing past the local, the blur, and the only thing between you and sheer terror was a small window and a false sense of security. Or at least it seemed that way because shortly after his diagnosis, the disease began to paralyze him. I was with him in the hospital when his family arrived. It was the only time I ever saw him cry. The next time I saw him was in hospice. I hope he heard what I whispered into his ear.
The thing is, this is just one story of many stories that are all a part of one sad story. Many have lost friends, sons, daughters, lovers, spouses. It was a dreadful time of suffering, fear and loss. In the years that followed, I was witness to miracles in medicine, discoveries, testing, counseling, and medications. It may not have happened in time to save my friend, but it happened in time to save countless others.

So, that is why this benefit is important to me. That is why I give what I can give in the form of a postcard size piece of art. Because while I no longer work on the front lines, I can still give. I give myself.

In memory of Jon Steinbacher.

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Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Happy Holidays!

Signing off to savor the season...the glow of string lights and the flicker of candles, the scent of the fir tree, scrumptious foods eaten slowly, laughter and board games, flannel sheets and good books, packages tied with soft yarn, the magic...

Happy Holidays....See you next year!


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Sunday, December 13, 2015

Winter Light Zen Retreat

A gift that lasts forever...empty mind, full heart!
The perfect way to close the year.


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Wednesday, December 09, 2015

Peace Out : Holiday Prep

Till ringing, singing on its way, 
The world revolved from night to day, 
A voice, a chime, 
A chant sublime 
Of peace on earth, good-will to men! - Longfellow

There's chili in the crock and it smells soooo good that I need to leave the house because it's torture.  Tonight my friend Maezen arrives with several other lovely souls to sup 'round my table.  Tomorrow, I leave for her zen retreat!  This will be the longest I've ever sat down and shut up... probably in my entire life.  Wish me luck, won't you?  I'm going to need it.

I've taken a few measures to help stave off my monkey mind...things scratched off my to-do list so I hopefully won't think about them while I should be thinking about nothing.

Our holiday cards were mailed last week...

and the calendars are on their way to the grands...

Satch is passing out his gratitude cards each day...

and the teacher gifts are ready to go.

The gifts that I ordered for my boy last month are already arriving so I've been wrapping and hiding them each day, while awaiting for Santa to arrive with his gifts.

The only thing left to do is to get the tree and decorate for the holiday.  Something to look forward to upon my return.

That...and the annual Solstice party...

And waiting for Santa to arrive!
Peace out, people.


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Thursday, November 26, 2015


We had a lovely Thanksgiving Dinner with our beloved family in NJ. Delicious food, fond memories and much laughter shared. This was a very VERY special time and we felt so blessed to all be together.  We made it home in time to see Santa light up our town tree!



Battle Ship

Hotel Bed Jumping

Tree Lighting


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Wednesday, November 18, 2015

That Walk to School

That walk to school
when his friend asked
"What's your favorite smell?
and he replied,
"The smell of my mom's cooking
and Spring"...

and then
I walked home


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Sunday, November 15, 2015

Happy Anniversary


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Friday, November 13, 2015

Seasonal Sprint

“Wakan Tanka, Great Mystery, teach me how to trust my heart, my mind, my intuition, my inner knowing, the senses of my body, the blessings of my spirit. Teach me to trust these things so that I may enter my Sacred Space and love beyond my fear, and thus Walk in Balance with the passing of each glorious Sun.”  ~Lakota Prayer

The Juncos have arrived and that means winter is not far behind them. The feathered ones are nature's weather app. There is a feeding frenzy in the feeder as they plump up for the coming season. I think of them as I peck at the keyboard, designing our family calendars for 2016. My goal is always to have our cards and calendars to the printer before Thanksgiving, so this mama bear can saunter through the holiday season without being swept up in the bustle. Even so, 2015 seems to be in a sprint toward the finish.

Last night, the cracking of tree limbs and wind gusts woke me from sleep. I sat up in bed and watched the naked trees dance in the moonlight.

Our gratitude cards to slip into the palms of all those who help make our life a life...

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Saturday, October 31, 2015


By the pricking of my thumbs,
Something wicked this way comes.

- Shakespeare (Macbeth)

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