Friday, September 08, 2006

Obbity Bobbity # 2

One thing that really irritates me is ignorant remarks regarding mothering by women who don't have children...

Today as I was finishing my workday I sighed, "Boy, I'm tired". A woman, pregnant with her first child replied, "That's by choice"(referring to the fact that I co-sleep with my son). I turned to her and said, "The choice to sleep with my son is a good choice for my family...Satchel has never slept through the night, not all babies do, and if I had to physically get out of bed every time he woke up to nurse, I wouldn't be able to function". Then I added, "Talk to me in a month and tell me how tired YOU are because mothering puts 'tired' in a whole new perspective".

I admit, "attachment parenting" is hard work, but the rewards are great, and for our family it feels right, natural and the most nurturing for our child. Dr. William Sears writes, "Sleep-sharing babies get the message - I am just as valuable during the night as I am during the day. I belong to someone 24 hours a day." (For the record, co-sleeping and breastfeeding are beautiful and magical experiences which I will cherish forever!)

What are some of the irritating remarks you have received? Let this comment section be a place to dump them so they no longer linger inside you.

For those of you who don't know what Obbity Bobbity is, click here!

"Harold and Maude" is on tv tonight (one of my faves)...after Satch falls asleep I will watch a bit of it. It will be a good remedy for the aforementioned crumminess. I just adore the character "Maude" and hope to be as vibrant as she when I'm in my 80's.


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posted by Wendy at 5:02 PM


Blogger Margaret said...

I named my old car Maude because I liked that movie so much.

I am not a mother and so I have no gripes to add. I respect mothers, am frankly in awe of mothers, and at times am a little envious.

As a woman who has chosen to not have children but instead to inspire teens and help guide them forward into their adulthood, I occasionally wish that I had that bond with one or two of my own children.

Thank you for being a mother.

By the way, I am going to try to make a heading tonight. I will tell you how it goes.

10:03 PM  
Blogger Wendy said...

i LOVE it...a car named Maude!

I love the work that you do...thank you for being you. I appreciate your presence on my blog and in the world.

You inspire me,

7:27 AM  
Blogger julie said...

Oh Boy!! Are you sure you want to open that can o'worms Wen??
Well here you go.. here are just a few of my fav. things to hate.

#1.Don't assume my age. I am NOT too young to have 2 children..

#2. People who think children are just small adults.. THEY ARE CHILDREN.. let them be children!! They are loud,hyper,sometimes a bit rude, and at times a little gross but we are working on it.. it takes time... If you don't like them stay home because I'm not!!

#3. people who give unsolicited advice about raising kids.. (especially when they don't have any).. if I wanted your advive I would have asked for it..

#4. people who give my children dirty looks when they misbehave.. What?? You didn't think I noticed it too?? Well, I did.. and I will handle it.. BUTT OUT! And wipe that look off your face.. BITCH!

#5. When I see a parent or who-ever it is.. hitting, pulling, or dragging a child.. You better believe I'm going to give you a piece of my mind.. Unsolicited or not..

11:08 AM  
Blogger Wendy said...

Thank you, Jules...for speaking up when you see a child being mistreated. In order to break the cycle we must advocate on their behalf and validate the experience.

Bless you!

12:37 PM  
Blogger Margaret said...

Thanks for your supprot, Wendy. Children and youth are our future.

4:49 PM  
Blogger Wendy said...

By the way, brave woman, I noticed in your profile that you enjoyed the films:
-Rabit Proof Fence
-West Beirut
-Iron Jawed Angels

*I loved those films too!!!

Did you happen to go to the Human Rights Watch International Film Festival? In 2002, I saw 2 great films there:
- Afghanistan 1380
- Voice of the Prophet

I too have read:
- The God of Small Things
- Reason For Hope

We have that in common also. I met Dr. Jane Goodall, but that's a story for another day!

5:17 PM  
Blogger Wendy said...

Linky links to the above:
Rabbit Proof Fence
West Beirut
Iron Jawed Angels
Human Rights Watch International Film Festival
Afghanistan 1380
Voice of the Prophet
The God of Small Things
Reason for Hope

5:39 PM  
Blogger Veronica TM said...

What really bothered me was when I was pregnant and I would say that I was planning a natural childbirth people would say, "yeah, you say that now, but you will be screaming for drugs then". I ended up having a natural childbirth without drugs and without asking for drugs. I had the support of the important people in my life, but I would have done without those types of remarks. I understand that they come from fear or jelousy {some were women who had c-sections or epidurals but would have liked a natural birth}, but at that time they scared me and made me doubt myself and my decisions. Now I know I can do it and I am so proud!

1:12 AM  
Blogger Wendy said...

I'm proud of you too, V! I hated those sorts of remarks also. I had an un-medicated labor until they decided to do a c-section. The did an epi right before the surgery so i don't think he got much if any of the drug. he was alert and amazing with an apgar of 9! my husband said that he lost a point due to his dismount :-)

6:51 AM  
Blogger pinkcoyote said...

wow-this is a lively dialogue! i hate it so much when i see mothers talking above their children, not on their level, squeezing their little faces, threatening them, scaring them, hurting them. i ask myself at least once a day "what are people having children for if they aren't going to be loving to them every day of their lives??". it is heartbreaking-i love what julie said about advocating for them. that is exactly what we have to do, let that person know that it isn't okay to treat a child as property. being an enlightened witness for a child in pain is the thing we can do more of, let each one know that WE see them even if mommy is choosing not to...
*stepping off soapbox now*

thank you wendy. i'm really enjoying your voice becoming a stronger presence in the blogging world. you've got balls and that is what it takes, sister. BOOO YAH!

11:59 PM  
Blogger Margaret said...

If I ever have a child I would like to try to have a natural birth too. I have a pretty high tolerance for pain. But as I probably won't, I am glad that you stuck to your decision, veronica. We should just support each other in their decisions and not try to dissuade them.
I also want to tell you, Wendy, that your title on your "Life in the Shadows" blog looks great!

12:21 AM  

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