Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Obbity Bobbity

"The best way to make children good is to make them happy." - Oscar Wilde

My friend Phoebe has an expression that she would say when ever something felt weird. "Obbity Bobbity", she would sigh. That is how I felt this afternoon when I learned that the veggie burgers were eaten by the carnivores and the only BBQ left was a platter of cow patties...except I didn't sigh "Obbity Bobbity", I sighed, "f_ _ king unbelievable". I didn't mean for it to come out of my mouth, but it did. It wasn't so much the disappointment of having my lunch eaten as it was the comment I overheard as I walked toward the kitchen.

You see, I had intended to leave Satch on the sheet with B so I could grab some food, but he didn't want to stay with her so I took him with me. As I walked away I heard someone say, "that's why he does that because she lets him". (Does What? Reaches for his Mama?!?!) It should be noted that the person who made this comment doesn't know me very well nor my son and I have a pretty good idea that we don't share the same parenting philosophy, i.e. Attachment Parenting. It should also be noted that just a mere 5 minutes prior, someone asked me, "Is Satch always this happy"?

Yes...he is a happy child.

I held my breath and remembered what my friend Larry ( a holistic pediatrician ) told me...."Hey Wendsters, hang in there. You're doing the right thing and your son will be better for it. People will always have something to say.....ALWAYS. Quietly, in your own way, either aloud or under your breath, say, thank you very much, even though you're telling them to _(*_(&^*&% off!!! " (Thank you, Lobster, your presence give me hope for the world)

That is what I tried to do, but when I got to the kitchen door I said "f_ _king unbelievable".

I believe that Satchel is entitled to his opinions, his wants, his needs, his likes, his dislikes. At this early stage in his development I feel it's my duty to respect his wishes. At this time in his life, "No's" are saved for things that can harm him. There will be plenty of time for behavior modification as he gains a better concept of the world around him. At this early age, his needs (both physical and emotional) are satisfied and his requests are acknowledged not ignored. I think Satch is such a happy child because he knows he is understood, that he is heard and respected.

Another person that gives me hope for the world is Jan Hunt who wrote the wonderful book,
"The Natural Child - Parenting from the Heart".....and of course, our beloved Mr. Geisel.

"People are people no matter how Small" - Theodore Seuss Geisel

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posted by Wendy at 3:58 PM

2 Comments:

Blogger pinkcoyote said...

hi there. isn't that just so bloody irritating? people carry their baggage from their crappy, neglectful childhoods and then project it onto their own children and others without even being conscious that there is another way of doing things besides pretending your child is here for no other reason than to become self sufficient as soon as possible. it is amazing. miles is at a stage right now where he is rather clingy and only mommy will do. i don't want him to change until he is ready to move on to another phase. i don't have any expectations of my seven month old-CRAZY pixie!!! and i don't judge him. i am quite angry that some random person at a bbq felt entitled to judge satchel. good for you for being so solidly dedicated to satch that you let him be with you when he wants you. those others can *&^% off!!!
love love your a.p. sister, pix
p.s. i just have to tell you that the code below i'm being asked to type in is "fkews" HA!

8:49 PM  
Blogger Nikki B said...

So... how did I know that the passionate response here would be from Pixie Loo?!?! ") I have been sneakin' peaks at your dear sweet Satch when I can here... I love the AP that you and Pix get to indulge in... so was not the case for me when my two were wee tots... and now they are my lovely small monkee's who still I let sit on my lap when ever they want to. I fear that the guest at the BBQ would not have had the pleasure and grace you gave them had it been me they chose to comment about!! Under my breath, is not something I've mastered.
People feel so compelled to "fix" what they perceive as "parenting gone-wrong" ... I can only hope that one day my children tell me they love me for who I am and how I parented them, with.
I think you are fabulous and I think you need no validation in this!

3:30 PM  

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