Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Abracadabra!

I just discovered this little book entitled, "1,2,3, Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12" by Thomas Phelan, PhD and what an apt title! I've been researching gentle discipline techniques to help me with some of Satchel's not-so-charming behaviors...like being too rough with the cat and interrupting me when I'm on the phone etc...you know, the common yet frustrating behaviors that surface at this age. I want to set limits, but I also want Satch to feel as though he has choice and a voice.

I read this book cover to cover during his nap and began applying some of the concepts immediately. I told Satch that we were going to try something new and explained what we were going to do. I said that this would be our family rule from now on. To my astonishment, Satch got it! Instantly! He understood SO well, he began "counting" himself...we had an episode of testing and he looked up at me and said, "that's a one". "Yes", I replied, "and three is a time-out".

What I like about the counting technique is that it can be adapted by Attachment Parenting families. It gives the child a chance to self-correct the behavior before facing a consequence. I noticed that when I count a "one", it immediately draws a sense of mindfulness to the situation, for both of us. For me, it's a moment to make a mental note of my triggers, to remain calm and not get frustrated. For Satch, it makes him aware of his behavior and gives him a choice.

*Speaking of magic...Phydeaux the genius fixed the broken blogger tag cloud script so now our label lists are up and running again....posts on "Mother Rising" are once again accessible by subject in the index, "Life in Chapters".

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posted by Wendy at 6:06 AM

3 Comments:

Anonymous granola_girl said...

One book that I have been reading is called "Hold On To Your Kids" By Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Mate. This book has changed the way that I look at parenting and discipline and the good part is it is all about attachment. This book focuses mostly on children attaching to their peers over parents and how to stop this from happening or reverse it. I think you may like this book. Another two good books that I like on discipline are The Natural Child By Jan Hunt which has some good suggestions and The Discipline Book by Doctor Sears. I thought that you might like these titles. Thanks for sharing with us every week.

12:10 PM  
Blogger Wendy said...

thanks granola girl! i love the dr. sears book and jan hunt's book is my parenting bible. i will definitely check out the first book you mentioned because i haven't read that one.

thank you, thank you!

12:33 PM  
Blogger jessamyn said...

So, I have this book but I haven't yet read it and this post here just gave me the motivation to do so. I am happy to hear that it can be well adapted by attachment parenting families because I think that assumption that perhaps it "couldn't" was what was keeping me from opening the pages.
Thanks! And now, I must go read!

11:26 AM  

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