Mom to Mom: Allison

It's June and I can't think of a more glorious way to begin the month and end the week than by leaving you with Allison. Satch and I are heading out to watch some jugglers that have come to town. Have a good weekend, everyone or as Satch now says, "Time to play"!

Mom: Allison (Love Squalor)
Of : Esme Lille, 10 months
Where: Albuquerque, New Mexico
Blog: Full Instrumental

1. In what ways has becoming a mother changed you?

The changes never stop! Motherhood is a lesson in wonder, watching the magic of a human being unfold. It is a lesson in patience, awake and raw at 2:00 A.M., searching for compassion in the fragile center of exhaustion. It is a lesson in perspective, sharing the wide eyed discoveries of a child and seeing even a blade of grass for the miracle it is. Motherhood is a lesson in love, my heart unraveling almost daily as it expands to span the distance between her independent footsteps and my outstretched hands. Being a mother is a lesson in change, every month a new topography and the choreography changes as I skip a beat to keep up. Life is different as a mother, less sleep, more schedules, less time, more worries. But when I look back across the path we have traveled together in the past ten months, I can see how being a mother has filled up all the empty spaces.

2. What is one tip you would like to share about mothering?

Take care of yourself. Motherhood inspires and demands a certain amount of selflessness, but it is a bucket that can come up empty if the source isn't replenished. It is so easy to lose sight of yourself and your dreams in the wake of a child's needs, so primal and extensive. However, when I catch a glimpse of Esme looking to me for her cues, I remember how important it is to keep growing, to keep giving back to myself so that I can be someone worth her admiration. Children deserve all the love in the world, but it is important to remember that you can't give away what you don't have. Take time out to ask what you can give to yourself, what you need to do to love yourself. For me, the answer was continuing to pursue my graduate degree. It hasn't been easy, but I have managed to be a full time mother and a full time graduate student without leaving Esme for more than a few hours a week. Giving myself the opportunity to follow my dreams right now will allow me to someday give my children the encouragement and the example to dream without boundaries, to proceed when things get hard, and to believe in their ability to succeed.

3. What is your creative outlet/medium?

Life is full of so many things to inspire and I am captivated by so much! Right now I am experimenting with photography, exploring the link between images, emotions, color. My crushes also extend to the written word, crochet hooks, sketchbooks, cookbooks, sewing machines, music and lyrics.

4. How do you find time for creativity?

I don't find time, but I am learning how to make it. I admire other parents who make time for creativity by involving their kids in their creative projects – share the camera, the crayons, the fabric. Esme is still too young to be involved in much though, so for now I make good use of nap times and those few precious hours between her bedtime and mine. I also am blessed with a wonderful guy who knows how much it means to have help with the dishes, the laundry, and Esme time.

5. Why do you blog/journal?

I blog because it gives me perspective – something tangible to measure the distance between my goals and my accomplishments. I blog because having an audience keeps me accountable, keeps me showing up to the page. I blog because the connection to other mothers-artists-women-people provides me with a community that is diverse in ways that wouldn't be possible otherwise – it makes the world feel a little smaller.

6. Which blogs do you frequent?

There are so many! In addition to Mother Rising (and sweet little *Satch*), I frequent:

Self Taught Girl, Hula Seventy, Superhero Journal, Steph's, and Micasa - - just to name a few (a very small few of the uber talented and inspiring people who make my life a little brighter)

7. Who are some bloggers that you would like to meet?

Christina, because her heart is so wide and her soul so deep

Flossy-p, because the world through her eyes is so full of color and laughter

Irene, because her heart comes through everything she does