Unreluctant Soul: 56th Ride Around the Sun

LIFE by Henry van Dyke (excerpt from The Three Best Things)

Let me but live my life from year to year,
With forward face and unreluctant soul;
Not hurrying to, nor turning from the goal;
Not mourning for the things that disappear
In the dim past, nor holding back in fear
From what the future veils; but with a whole
And happy heart, that pays its toll
To Youth and Age, and travels on with cheer.

Today is my 56th ride around the sun. One of my late husband’s colleagues gave us a gift cert for the lodge so I’m hoping to use it for a birthday dinner with my boy this eve. And maybe, just for today, I will put the job search aside and take a hike on that new trail and visit the congregation. Or as my son said, when his friend asked, “where is your mom’s church?”...”there!”, he said pointing to the forest, “right there!”

The lake last eve was exquisite. A group of vultures were gliding gracefully in circles above the peninsula and somewhere in the tree line, a young hawk calling. Interesting how the understory goes silent when the hawk speaks. I love the lake in the evening, when the light is constantly changing and with it the colors and the reflections.

And did you see that sunset?

Holding & Waiting

“I thought
how the sun
blazes
for everyone just
so joyfully
as it rises
under the lashes
of my own eyes, and I thought
I am so many!”
- Mary Oliver 

There is a full moon tonight worthy of bonfires, and basking, and hot cider, and neighbors sharing their stories...just sayin’. And did you see that sunrise this morn and how the clouds were the perfect shade of Payne’s Grey? Everything beautiful feels painful to me right now, but I won’t stop soaking in all the beauty I can because maybe it will transform the pain into something else. There are days where I feel a hint of myself and I pause for her waiting, as when one pauses to hold the door open for another. I’m holding and waiting.