In Limbo Land

Thank you, everyone, again and again for all that you've done to support me and my son. It's been hard, and scary, and lonely as you might imagine. Right now I'm in financial limbo while awaiting my appt with SSA on 11/15, and waiting for survivor benefits from the Fed Govt. I'm told that can take 3 months, plus or minus.

Robert and I lived simply, frugally because when I met him he had left his teaching career to follow his dream of being public interest attorney. That was an expensive dream, but he did it and he served well. He was admired and deeply missed. Robert didn't plan on leaving us so soon, and like many people didn't plan accordingly so I'm trying to figure out what we're going to do going forward. The phone calls, and the paperwork, and the filing continues and it's like a full time job in itself. I end up in tears mid day due to grief and the stress of the unknown. I begin the calls at 9am and try to be finished with everything before S gets home so not to upset him. In the evening I take him down to the lake to fish because it's his passion and that was one of the reasons we moved here, so S could live his dream.

This morning I took a break from the calls in order to work on the pollinator garden. Many of Robert's colleagues and our friends brought native plants to his life celebration. In this way we can celebrate his life, while also supporting the lives of the little pollinators that sustain all our lives. Our plan was to surround the entire house, eliminating as much of the sod as the HOA would allow, and replacing it with flowers and natives for the critters, maybe even a few edibles. As for now, the front bed is very active...I've seen Monarchs, Buckeye Butterflies, and even some honeybees! It breaks my heart that Robert is not here to see all the visitors.

S and I are so grateful to you, and to be a part of this community. I hope that we can pay it forward.