Trust

"And when our trust is betrayed the only response that is not destructive is to trust again." - Madeleine L'Engle

This word made of twisted wire hangs on the wall of my studio, right above my computer. And last week I learned a hard lesson about this word, trust. My friends would attest that by nature I'm a trusting soul. I begin every relationship from my center...I lead with trust - you needn't earn it from me. I'm not guarded. Every emotion shows on my face. I can't play poker.

Many years ago, I felt a tug to start a creative workshop for girls, Mighty Girl Art. For many years I marinated in kind remarks from friends, "Wendy, you should lead a workshop for girls", to which I would smile and respond, "I will when the time is right". I knew that Mighty Girl would be patient. I knew that she was gathering strength as she waited. In the meantime, I had other muses to chase. I gave birth to a son and motherhood became my priority.

Then three years ago, as my son became more independent, I heard her call out to me again. So strongly that I literally choked back tears when speaking about it. I heard about a Mermaid Warrior named Mccabe and I went to her for guidance and some tools to navigate with - but what she gave me was so much more. Trust. She trusted that I could manifest my vision, in my own way...and that was precisely what I needed to answer the call. I am forever grateful to her for her honesty, trust and continued support. Thank you, my Captain!

Since the launch of Mighty Girl Art three years ago, I've received many emails asking me for advice and support. Each time I am overwhelmed by humility and respond with honesty and trust. My wish is that other creative women will open their hearts and homes to young girls and empower them with many forms of creative self-expression. I believe that by sharing our authentic selves with young girls, we are giving them permission to be who they are. It is a daunting task in a society whose subtext is conformity under the guise of belonging. Therefore I feel a sense of duty to help, support and promote any creative sister who wishes to serve the girls in her neighborhood, and I do so with trust.

Can you imagine how I felt to see some of my words and works presented on another site without so much as an acknowledgment to Mighty Girl Art? Can you imagine how I felt when I learned that someone I trusted took them from me with out asking? No, I wasn't angry nor was I flattered. I felt devalued. The trust I had so freely given had been betrayed.

After careful consideration I realized that it was a disservice to my soul and to the person who offended me if I did not address it. It was a difficult thing for me to do because I do believe that it was merely an error in judgment and that the overall intentions were kind. I received an apologetic admission in reply. Now all I can do is trust that this person will make amends by assigning credit and rewording borrowed text.

When one takes, borrows or copies without asking & without ascribing credit - they take with it our right to choose, our voice, and our trust. And that is why it feels so violating. It's not a compliment.

There's a little known fact about, Mr. Colton who wrote the statement, "Imitation is the sincerest of flattery", in his book Lacon (1820) - the fact is, he didn't exactly have the best reputation. Author Willis Goth Regier revealed a direct quote from Colton's publisher who described, in frank detail, Colton's questionable character. Perhaps that is the reason why this adage offers so little comfort to those on the receiving end of this form of flattery. That said, I prefer not to be on either end of Colton's adage. I hope that my work radiates the sparks of all those who have helped light my path, but that the flame of my own voice is what shines. It's a beautiful thing that we all inspire each other creatively, but we must respect and honor the unique gifts that each of us offer, and we must treat them gingerly.

Robert Fulgham wrote in his book, "All I really need to know I learned in Kindergarten":

• Share everything
• Play fair
• Clean up your own mess
• Don't take things that aren't yours
• Put things back where you found them
• Say you're sorry when hurt somebody

I think this applies to most things in life. Despite what happened, I will continue to TRUST and I will continue to share. I TRUST that you will play fair. I TRUST that you won't take something that isn't yours. I TRUST that you will ask before you take from me. I TRUST that you will put things back where you found them, by crediting those who inspired you. I TRUST that if you hurt me you will say sorry, and clean up your own mess by making amends.

Be mighty, be brave and most importantly, be YOU.

B U (be you) by Satch 2010

"It is impossible to have a healthy relationship with someone who has no boundaries, with someone who cannot communicate directly, and honestly. Learning how to set boundaries is a necessary step in learning to be a friend to ourselves. It is our responsibility to take care of ourselves - to protect ourselves when it is necessary. It is impossible to learn to be Loving to ourselves without owning our self - and owning our rights and responsibilities as co-creators of our lives." - Robert Burney

Soul Place Studio Tour

What we love, shapely and pure,
is not to be held, but to be believed in - Mary Oliver

Before I take you on a tour of the new improved studio, I should tell you a little about it. A few years ago, when we were looking for a home to rent, we chose this one because of the loft-like living area and because of this swell extra room off the foyer. I immediately claimed it as studio space (sacred space). The space served me well, but after I launched Mighty Girl Art empowerment camp 2 summers ago, I realized that my studio served only me. It suddenly dawned on me that I should re-create the space in such a way that it could be shared for small creative gatherings during the wintry months whilst the Tipi awaits warmer weather.

In the stillness of those pre-dawn hours that I have grown to love, I received a very clear vision of the studio space. It was all there - all of it - and so vivid. I would give away my trusty old drafting table and the outgrown storage. I would giveaway a/o sell materials that I no longer work with. I would invest in new storage, a table that could expand, and stackable stools to seat a cozy 6.

I approached The Great Robinsky and he agreed, it was time. My left brained husband not only understood his right brained wife, but was actually willing to co-manifest this project. I felt seen and heard in a way that I can't describe. He knew that this is something that I needed to do. We would wait until the new year - he would invest in my vision - he would wield a screw driver like nobody's business, carpal tunnel notwithstanding. And now... I'm sitting here, in this space, enveloped in awe and gratitude.  So, lets take a look around, shall we?

The storage cabinets are a godsend! They are affordable and hold an enormous amount of supplies. I think finding the right storage was the biggest challenge for the studio. You can see my reflection in the glass wearing my old circa 90's Oilily faux fur vest. My aunt Bobbi named it "The Wooby" and it stuck. It feels like wearing a muppet. (got art apron can be found here)
























Atop the cabinets are baskets of yarn and wool roving (Wassup Brooklyn!)

This corner of the studio houses the mac-daddy where I do my photo editing and write my diary/blog.






















On the desk is: a basket of my favorite ink pens (The Great Robinsky is forbidden to touch them as he mashes the points); and several books that I refer to frequently like this one and this one and this one . There's also little steel bin that holds a stack of vintage photographs; Rescue Remedy; headache balm and a tin full of found wings.

In a recycled magazine vase (a gift from Pixie during our trip to Woodstock) is a branch of Forsythia...it's actually tissue paper blooms that I made with Satchel, but it looks like the real thing - even up close. Truth be told, I prefer blooming branches to flowers, but Satchel & The Great Robinsky are allergic to tree pollen.

















And this is my ever changing Inspiration Wall...cards and images by a/o from friends...like Ninabeana, for instance.






















These shelves hold misc. supplies for making art journals, altered books and assemblages etc. That strip of red is actually my old Spirograph and Etch-a-Sketch.

The bookcase holds all my art related books. This area still need a bit of tidying. The baskets below contains fabric & sewing supplies. Atop the bookcase is the fancy new sewing machine that I got for Christmas. I want to marry it.

To the right is my old HP which I use to make those dreamy transfer prints seen in my work. In front of the sewing machine is a vintage mannequin hand that I once used to display my bracelets. The hand is up for grabs (no pun intended) as are the vintage buttons you see in those big jars in my etsy shop.

On the wall, a print by my friend, Pixie Campbell. Below it, a wishing wall that I made from honeycomb cardboard. Right now there are 2 wishes inside it - one wish holds the name of the town where I wish to formally plant roots. To the right, a statue of Ganesha that my friend Maninder brought back from India. I love elephants, you see.  On another wall, a Bread & Puppet print given to me by my friend Steph.























There is also an offering bowl made by Chelsea Dobert-Kehn. At the moment it holds some sage and other offerings given to me by friends.

And this is the table where all the magic and makings will happen.






















The antique garden gate on the wall has always been used for hanging tools: snippers, pliers, punches, soldering irons, heat guns, wood burning pens, and brayers etc.

Below the gate is my trusty old printing press. I use it for xerox transfer prints. When not in use, it's stowed on the floor where it can't fall and crush feet. The gorgeous ginormous stones are from the North Shore of Long Island...holla!

















I used to keep all my stuff in jars in a wooden fruit crate, but this nifty caddy spins, making it easier to work with a group. It holds a variety of ink pens, pencils, hand drills etc.

And the caddy has these tiny little drawers for small stuff. Tucked into one of the little drawers is one of my favorite treasures...my grandpa's screw driver from Tiffany - Represent!

On the windowsill is a tribute to honor my kitty who slept there. When he died, my husband had his paw print pressed into clay for me. It sits in the very spot where my kitty Elvis slept, along with one of the sun jars that I made a few years ago.

Lastly, a tall cabinet was added to the studio loo to contain paint rags, cleaning supplies and a place for brushes to dry. On the wall are sunprints made by my son. The giant Warholian soup cans were a gift from my cousin Phil, also an artist. It runs in the family...a long lineage of artists, craftsman, photographers, musicians and merry-makers.

So that's the tour of my the new studio...a sacred space...a soul space. There's magic in the offing. Care to join me?

Soul Place

The psyches and souls of women have their own cycles and seasons of doing and solitude, running and staying, being involved and being removed, questing and resting, creating and incubating, being of the world and returning to the soul-place. - Clarissa Pinkola Estes

 


I return to my diary this morning with feelings of both relief and anticipation. Relief - that the studio work is completed - props to The Great Robinsky & Son for their help. Relief- that my family has seen the last of the nasty norovirus that landed me tethered to an IV for a good part of a day. And...I'm also filled with anticipation for I am now able to share my studio with Mighty Girls and anyone who feels the tug to come over and make stuff. (Photo tour on Wednesday)

The fact that the bulbs on our window sill chose this very moment to bloom is not lost on me.

Somewhere between the doin's and illin's there was a sled-worthy snow storm and fireside dinners, and many rounds of Uno, and bedtime readings from the James Herriot Children's Treasury, and a covert mission to send a knitted viking hat to one wicked awesome goddess. Here, within the fabric of these moments, my heart dwells. This is my soul place.

This Brief Moment: Holiday Recap

And the snow,
while it is here, reminds us of this:
that nothing lasts forever
except memories.
And while the snow
is here
this brief moment,
let us take a walk
and see how beautiful
the world is. - Cynthia Rylant (Snow)

Christmas eve morn, I awoke with a sore throat, but figured it was just the terribly dry air. Later, that day my eyeballs began to hurt, my hair too, then it finally dawned on me that I had a fever. I was fairly useless, but I somehow managed between periodic sofa diving with a blanket and a mug of hot cider. Am I ever glad that I finished all the holiday makings and buyings and wrappings and doings earlier in the month.

Satch woke up at 6 in the morning and screamed,

"SANTA WAS HERE...MAMA...DADA...YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS!"

The tree sparkled and there were lovely gifts carefully placed beneath. ( Linky-love for those looking for simple yet swell inexpensive gifts ideas for 2011).

We noticed that Santa always wraps his gifts in tissue paper tied with delicate curling ribbon, while we wrap our gifts in simple kraft paper with stripey yarn. A little Pinocchio puppet hung from the mantel where his stocking dangled the night before and on the hearth below lay his stocking nearly bursting with tiny treasures and treats.

Upon the little plate, where Satch left a piece of cheese for Santa Mouse, there stood a darling little mug for hot cocoa and in it a tiny, delicately wrapped gift from the mouse himself!

It was a palm sized pirate ship!

Satch had three wishes for Christmas, a violin, a microscope and Legos! Santa brought him the violin, the Grands sent the latter. There were other treats for our boy as well (from Santa, friends, family and his mama and dada), all of which pleased him greatly! There was the Pinocchio (found at a summer yard-sale along with the set of wee bongos). There was Uno, markers (from the Chens), a shark tooth necklace from Kenya and other treasures (from the Kabler-Sarns), the Mystery in the Forest Story Cards, the finger flashlights (from Noma), the Hexbug Nano, the sacred medicine bag (from the Campbells) the Ice Skates, and Katamino and...

Slips & Ladders, and a pre-loved Mattel re-issue of Battling Tops in an awesome multilingual box (my favorite Christmas gift in 1968), Boggle Jr, HyperDash, a ViewMaster Projector and even a Tooth Fairy Box (from Uncle Ray)...

and there was a stack of wonderful books from friends (the Mayers), family (the grands, the Rizzis, and Satchel's aunt Lola) and of course, Santa. We are a bookish family after all.

The Great Robinsky and I received some mighty fine reads too...and a yogurt maker (which will eliminate some of the variables in traditional towel wrapped incubation), and pocket warmers and handmade artist gloves (from Dr. Simon), a pre-loved-lovely jacket from Greenmama, and a wicked cool original lithograph (by the talented Chelsea Dobert-Kehn), and a pound of my secret brew "Organic Wendy Blend" (from my beloved uncle). It's true, it's my favorite and best and you can ask for it by name. There were fruits and sweets and greets and treats and there was even a gift to Heifer International in our honor (from the Sowders).

Fever notwithstanding, I managed to pull together a holiday feast...a vegetarian roast with organic baby carrots, taters, sage gravy, and those spinach tartlets that Satch loves. I defrosted some of Satchel's homemade applesauce that I rationed for such an occasion. And I made some new recipes - props to Sweet Paul Magazine.

Satch deemed it the best Christmas ever! I have to agree...the Great Robinsky surprised me with a fancy new sewing machine to replace the ancient worn out and wonky one that I currently use...the one that is broken in two places and taped together. I tell you, when I opened that box I cried.

This year closed with a big gulp from the cup of gladness: 5 parties, one of which we hosted, all of which involved lots of beautiful boisterous children and one with an added bonus of melted cheese. There were quiet moments too, moments of reflection, of healing...of reading a/o re-reading every word written by Mary Oliver and a few by Starhawk, gathering insight, inspiration and a new muse to chase in the new year...

and for a brief moment, there was a dusting of snow.

*Will be away from my diary for the rest of the week as we are transforming my studio into a space that will host a cozy 6 Mighty Girls for creative wintry rejuvenation. More as it unfolds...