Birthday Letters: Four

Dear Satchel,

This has been a whirlwind of a year! You are an active boy. You are fearless and thirsty for adventure - leaping from the furniture, climbing trees and riding your bike as fast as your legs can pedal. You wear your bonks like badges of honor. There is no longer a hint of baby fat left on your lean body. And yet with all your rough and tumble boyishness, there is a tenderness about you that takes my breath away.

You are trying to read and spell. Your sense of language is astounding. You have no shortage of words to express yourself and I have a hard time believing you've only been on this planet 4 years. You are able to communicate your needs and wants with precision. You are quite clear about the things you like and the things you don't. I try not to laugh when you refer to me as "little lady", and your "majesty". You have loads of big words and yet you still say, "YOOK", "sumfing" and "lellow". I don't correct you because I know that I will miss hearing those words too soon.

You love creating and run to me joyfully to show me your latest "in-ven-shunz". You invented a "Lizard Launcher" with a shovel and a Lincoln Log. You created your own "Super Skates" with train cars and rubber bands. You've made your own pulley system with dental floss, spools and plastic hooks that were attached to your new socks. You've outgrown your socks! Not to mention, 2 pairs of shoes, and your second car seat!

Your favorite color is red. Your favorite food is cheese - goat cheese, ricotta cheese, mozzarella cheese, gruyére cheese, jack cheese...anything that can be sprinkled with, dipped in or otherwise eaten with cheese.

Your love for nature continues and you actually wept one evening because you missed your "calopilla friends". I assured you that they would return and the joy on your face when you found your first fuzzy this season made my heart dance. You named it Parsley and contented with your time together, released it the following day. You love digging, love mud and sand and worms and bugs of all sorts. You imitate animal noises, and the birds you hear, and you do a great impression of your "Nomah". Your sense of humor is terrific, and you love "Knock Knock Jokes".

You dress yourself and you rock your own style. You can brush your own hair and teeth. And you are able to get a drink or a snack all by yourself. But the most noted changes that have taken place this year are that you sleep through the night and have given up your diapers! You have instructed us that you will only wear boxer briefs.

You are extremely passionate and that has made for some sticky moments between us. Moments where I have lost my patience, become borderline psycho and yelled. I always regret yelling and when I apologize for it, I'm astounded to find that you have already moved on and you look at me like what's the big deal and then you apologize to me for whatever it was the pissed me off. There seems to be no doubt in your mind that I love you. And you make it very clear that you love me too. You have taught me that we are both learning, both finding our way and when we lose our balance, we help each other up. We love each other not in spite of our beautifully flawed humanness, but because of our beautifully flawed humanness. You have taught me what unconditional love really is. You have taught me the meaning of authenticity.

We have both evolved this year. You, the boy with colorful marker on his arms and mud under his nails - I, the mom with the endless supply of Sponge Bob bandaids and bug tattoos. Together we solve the worlds problems with a bottle of bubbles and a handful of M&Ms. I look at you trying to recognize the traces of the baby you once were. You have changed in so many ways. But last night, you were laughing in your sleep again, and my heart leapt...your laugh, your laugh...is still the same.

Happy Birthday, Satchel!

All my love,
Mama
(automated to post at the time of your birth)