All Things Shroomy

"They hardly felt the Autumn gales, and if it rained, the children crept underneath a giant toadstool to keep dry." - Elsa Beskow (Children of the Forest)


















Satch fancies mushrooms!
He loves hunting for them to make spore prints. I forgot all about spore prints until I saw them resurface on Crafty Crow. I used to make them on the sidewalk when I was a child...it was like kiddie graffiti. So, Satch and I went mushroom hunting and made a couple of prints. I like the prints so much that I'm going to frame them and perhaps make some note cards too.

*Spore prints should be a supervised project for young children who might put them in their mouth. Some information on poisonous mushrooms can be found here.

Since Satch is wild for shrooms, I purchased some unfinished wooden mushrooms from Sherry, a wood craft supplier on ebay. I tucked them away to paint together as a rainy day project. We'll use some of my photos for color ideas. There are also some wonderful photos here.

There is a lovely toy store called, A Toy Garden, owned and operated by mama, Sonya Bingaman. Her store sells a wide variety of beautiful and imaginative gifts for children. Satch is smitten with the wooden mushroom set carved from organic orchard wood. I hide them around the house and he hunts for them. They are so adorable you might want a set of your own to place on a shelf. Sonya wraps all the little goodies in brightly colored tissue paper (easy for wee hands to tear open) and ties them with beautiful, silky rainbow ribbon.

Another shroomy love is this mini book, "Children of the Forest" by Elsa Beskow. It's delightful story with classic elements of light and dark found in most fables and the illustrations are breathtaking. We love the spotted mushroom cap hats on the wee-folk!

Most Alive Monday: Whispered

Mama, what's a life?

A life is the span of time that someone or something is alive and I guess the experiences we have during the time we are alive.

What's the best part of your life?

YOU...and the day you were born was the happiest day of my life.


What was your favorite part of today?

Umm...early this morning when you were on my lap and we were hugging and you felt so warm and still smelled of sleep. What was your favorite part of the day, Satch?

Being with you.
*About Most Alive Monday: I've decided to make at least one "most alive choice" each day and post my favorite each Monday. This, of course, is to motivate me to consciously "live juicy"! I hope you'll join me and share your "most alive moment" in the comments section so we may inspire each other.




*Excerpt from our whispered conversation in bed last night before we both fell asleep.

Unlimited

"So many worlds...
so much to do...
such things to be" - Alfred Lord Tennyson

Have a good weekend, everyone!

Celebrating Autumn

"We run to catch the falling leaves.
We smell their smells and touch their veins.
Bright jewels from the crowns of trees.
We trace their shapes. We say their names. - Carole Gerber (Leaf Jumpers)

Satch spent the morning creating these fall leaves using watercolor on diffuser paper (which I purchased here). You can also use coffee filters because it's the same kind of paper, but we gave up paper filters many years ago. I added some grommets to hang them in the entry way to the living/play area.







































Just let the your wees paint the leaves with watercolor a/o marker and spritz with water to blend. They can also use crayon and colored pencil before painting to create a resist effect.
























And of course we hung our acorn ornaments!

Seasonal Book Basket: Autumn

In celebration of the first day of fall, here's what you'll find in our seasonal book basket!

In a Nutshell is a beautifully illustrated story about the life cycle of an oak tree and the interconnectedness of all living things.

This Teacher's Choice award winner is a beautifully illustrated retelling of an old favorite from the Brothers Grimm. The paintings have a warm glow and I love how the needle and thread frames the page.

Darling is the best word to describe this book and has inspired us to build our own fairy houses. I think we will make our Halloween Pumpkin a fairy house this year. The Fairy House series has become a phenomenon and encourages children to use found objects from nature to create beautiful tiny houses. So wonderful!


Pumpkin Circle is a story about the life cycle of a pumpkin with beautiful photography by Shmuel Thaler. Treat yourself to a peek here!

Vincent's Colors is a beautiful way to explore the world of color through art...
and then go leaf peeping!

Soon the leaves will be will be falling...a perfect opportunity for learning to identify trees with this Fandex Family Field Guide. I love the die cut leaves.

Dem Bones! Is a fun way to teach children a bit about anatomy and good book to have handy for Halloween when all those creepy skeleton decorations start appearing. Would make a cool gift when given with this skeleton floor puzzle.

Gosh! I wish I had this when I was a kid! The Knit-it-kit for kids includes needles, yarn and simple instructions for several fun projects to work on during cold weather days.
I'm going too teach myself to knit...

Most Alive Monday: Seize the Day!

The most important thing you leave behind is the stuff that turns into treasures when children find it. - Brian Andreas

Last Tuesday eve, we took Satch to watch the bats fly over Lake Newport and afterwards the children got to see some bats up close over at Brown's Chapel. The space was so cool and I couldn't concentrate on the adorable bats, all I could think about was...it would be a great space for an art show! hmmmmm

Upon our return from Satch's music class last Thursday, he started shouting "seize the day" at the bus stop. Thankfully I had my camera handy.

*About Most Alive Monday: I've decided to make at least one "most alive choice" each day and post my favorite each Monday. This, of course, is to motivate me to consciously "live juicy"! I hope you'll join me and share your "most alive moment" in the comments section so we may inspire each other.

Again With the Goodly Goodliness

"Willing to accept that she creates her own reality except for some of the parts where she can't help but wonder what the hell she was thinking" - Brian Andreas (Story People)

So we returned from our trip to nirvana...um I mean Squam Art Workshops, and there was an email stating that my missing letterbox had been mysteriously returned. The local news is doing a follow-up to this story with the new happy ending.

AND...Think Tank (An international show of work exploring contemporary political issues including the environment, the death penalty, the war in Iraq, immigration, homeland security, and the election process itself) which includes two of my pieces opens tomorrow at the Clara M. Eagle Gallery at Murray State University in Kentucky.

I know I've said this before, but I really AM the luckiest person on earth. Do you believe me now? (If not, here's further proof)

To School or to Unschool

"I am the genius of myself" - James P. Carse

Everyone keeps asking me if Satch has started preschool. We have decided not to enroll Satch in preschool this year because at the time of enrollment (last year) it seemed...well, too soon. I'm so torn on this whole issue because on the one hand I don't want him to miss out on an experience that he may enjoy, but on the other hand...do three year old children REALLY need to be in school? Have we forgotten the value of play and experiencing the world? We decided that we would rather wait until he until he has some more communications skills under his wee belt so that if something or someone upset him in any way, he can tell us about. We also want him to have the confidence to voice his opinion and stand up for himself, if needed.

In the meantime, we've signed Satch up for some Mommy & Me classes that we are certain will nurture his current interests - Music, Creative Dance, and Creative Explorer which engages children to explore, science art, and photography. These activities are offered through our local community center for a nominal fee.

I've read some books that have completely changed my concept of education and have moved me into a place of self-reflection and asking lots of questions...

John Holt's Classic, "Teach Your Own" was the first on my list to read and what I can't get out my mind is this quote: "What children need is not new and better curricula but access to more and more of the real world; plenty of time and space to think over their experiences, and to use fantasy and play to make meaning out of them; and advice, road maps, guidebooks, to make it easier for them to get where they want to go (not where WE think they ought to go), and to find out what they want to find out."
What really drove that statement home was when getting ready for bed one night, Satch decided to remove all the pillowcases. I asked him to leave the pillowcases on the pillows and he replied, "Mama, I need to do this...it's my job to experiment". This completely blew my mind!

I was then lead to the book, Guerilla Learning: How to give your kids a real education with or without school", by Grace Llewellyn. I could NOT put this book down and kept reading passages over dinner, while my husband (a former history teacher) nodded in agreement.

I found this book very compelling and I know that I'll be referring to it over and over again.

And when I heard that Jan Hunt was writing a new book entitled "The Unschooling Unmanual", I couldn't wait to get my hands on a copy. It's a collection of essays on the subject of natural learning written by 11 noted thinkers such as Daniel Quinn, John Holt and the author herself. It is concise, easy to read and thoroughly inspiring. You will be hearing from Jan in October's Mom to Mom interview.

These books gave me more insight into the history of our educational system and provided me with resources and options. They also enabled me to self-reflect upon my own experiences with schooling and I've gained some understanding as to why I did not enjoy it. My parents didn't know there were other options that would be more suited to my personality, interests and needs. I think the key is to know your children and find the method that truly suits them.

We are still uncertain about how we will approach our son's future education. There are just so many things to consider. I like a lot of the Waldorf concepts and how in the early years they focus on play/fantasy. I also like the Montessori method which emphasizes self-directed learning. And then there is the Emila Reggio approach which sounds to me like the best of both worlds. That said, we have a lot of thinking to do.

Most Alive Monday: Squam Art Workshops

I have perceived
that to be with those I like
is enough,
To stop in the company
with the rest at evening
is enough,
To be surrounded by
beautiful, curious, breathing, laughing flesh
is enough,
To pass among them,
or touch any one,
Or rest my arm ever so lightly
round his or her neck for a moment
what is this, then?
I do not ask any more delight.
I swim in it, as in a sea. -Walt Whitman

We're back and breathless and I'm trying to string together some coherent thoughts. I put together a slide show below these photos in the meantime...and added a few words below. I've uploaded some photos to flickr with more details.

We stayed on Wakondah Pond where sunrises wash the bottom of the sky in hues of pink and lavender. There are no motor boats permitted and the only sound that can be heard is the giggling of loons. In the evening we watched tiny bats swooping gracefully above the surface of the pond, catching meals of mosquitoes and looping back through the trees. I stood motionless and wished for one to fly closer to me and rewarded for my patience.

















While the mamas were creating, the cubs went canoing with the papa bears and other such adventures. I lost all sense of time in Nina's class and felt extremely grateful to have uninterrupted time to fill my well surrounded by kindred spirits. I'm struggling to find words because the poem above and the slide show below really DOES describe what I'm feeling much more eloquently.

*About Most Alive Monday: I've decided to make at least one "most alive choice" each day and post my favorite each Monday. This, of course, is to motivate me to consciously "live juicy"! I hope you'll join me and share your "most alive moment" in the comments section so we may inspire each other.

Whining

Whining is a habit your child developed over time and it will take some time to break it.

All kids whine at one age or another, but the way to turn this attention seeking behavior into a habit is to give in, and let your nagger win. Once you give in, you can count on your kids to continue using this technique to get what they want. If not stopped, whining often escalates into back talk, arguing, and tantrums.

You can stop your child's whining habit with a little patience and time. The best way to stop the behavior is to not listen to nagging requests unless spoken with a normal talking voice. If your child whines, "I want a drink," then say, "I can help you when you ask in a normal voice." You may need to role model the correct way a normal voice verse a whining voice. Let your child know that you will not tolerate and respond to whining. Usually whining stops when kids realize it's getting them nowhere. If your child is still whining you can set up a consequence every time they whine. Wherever the whining occurs is where the consequence must take place. If you are out, you can have them sit quietly with no interaction with you. Consequences help stop behaviors only if they are used every time and with consistency when the behavior occurs. If you tell your child they are getting a consequence, follow through or the behavior will increase, only because your child has learned you might give in.

Please remember to praise your child when they use their words and in a normal voice without whining. Breaking the habit takes time. Don't get discouraged. Whining is a learned behavior and can be unlearned with consistency, love, and patience.

Rewarding Your Kids Good Behavior

Rewarding your children for their good behavior can be great motivation for your child. Most of the time simple comments of praise as "You did great", "Well Done", and "Keep it Up" or hugs will do. If you choose to implement an incentive to reinforce your child's behavior be careful, especially if you rely on material or monetary rewards. This will set the wrong expectations that the child holds the reward a greater value than doing the good behavior as the right thing to do.

If you decide to do a rewards chart, children do love them and they tend to break the cycle of nagging for a specific behavior only if you consistently maintain this and work as a family. I would suggest on handling and rewarding only one or two behaviors at a time. This will allow both you and the child to focus on working together to tackle the issue. Use reward charts in moderation because it may end up being not fun anymore for you or your child. This also depends on your child's personality and how your child responds to rewards.

If you want to reward your children with simple praise that is always best and here are some other ways without monetary or material rewards that your children will be sure to love:

• going to the park with a parent without siblings
  
• helping out in making food, helping mom or dad
  
• wash the car
• bouncing on the bed
• staying up a little later
• having a special dessert
• having friends over
• choosing where to go out to eat the next time
• playing a game with a parent
• going for a picnic
• and trips to special places they love

Remember not to expect too much from your child. The goals you want your child to achieve must be realistic and achievable. Reward good behavior quickly and often. Stay positive and concentrate on praising success. You are who they want attention and praise from. Children can learn to do the right thing and make good choices because that is what is expected and best of all will be motivated to do it.

Teaching your child not to interrupt while on the phone

Proactive Parenting vs. Reactive Parenting

Do you feel that every time you answer the phone your little one immediately needs you whether it is a constant tap, saying mommy repetitively or whining for a drink or snack (which in most cases it is something they can't have). You are not alone. An ocean could probably be filled with the number of parents who have been interrupted while on the phone. Interrupting is a habit children learn to use because it works. They want your attention and NOW! They have learned that they get a response from you and that you are willing to stop what you are doing to answer them. Children are so focused on themselves and their needs that they don't realize that you have needs too. They can learn though that interrupting is not acceptable with a little patience and practice.

If you can, prepare children before making a call:

• "Do you want me to read a story before I make some phone calls?"
  
• "Is there anything you need before I make this phone call?"
  

This gives them a chance to connect with you or have some attention before you will be on the phone. You can also communicate to the child that you will be on the phone for a little bit and set them up with an activity they can do on their own or a couple of things they can play while you make your phone calls. Always tell your child that as soon as you are off the phone, you will play with them and try to be specific on what it is that you will be playing. This gives them the opportunity to look forward to doing something together when you are through.

If you answer the phone and your child starts interrupting acknowledge their presence with a nod or silent cue. Do not ignore completely because they will get more persistent. Try not to stop your conversation completely, but if you have to, stop talking and tell your child that you are on the phone and assist them in what they need briefly. Communicate to the child I will be off soon and we will play. Teaching your child to wait will be hard for your little one. If you say you will be 2 minutes then keep your word by setting a timer or be 2 minutes. It's about building trust in your child and letting him know that you respect him and care about his needs while also helping him to understand that there are rules that must be followed.

When you are teaching your child how not to interrupt you, practice what you preach and don't interrupt them. Also role model to your child how to interrupt you and others politely with an excuse me or I have a question please. When you give in to the attention seeker and engage them while on the phone with lengthy answers and constant communication you are teaching them that it is o.k. to do and role modeling disrespect. Try not to take too long of phone calls during sleepiness or eating times. Try to also take phone calls during nap time if you can. If you need to, you can set up consequences for your little one if they continue to interrupt while on the phone after giving the silent cues and assisting them briefly.

Learning to be a good listener and to interrupt only when necessary and in a respectful manner takes practice. The earlier your child learns these skills the better off he will be.

Sharing

"What you role model to your young ones will come back to you and to others."

All of us want kind, loving children that share right? Many parents like myself have been in many situations with their children knowing that this is not an easy task and have been caught in that battle between what to share and not as well as the appropriate time a new toy should be on the sharing list for the next play date.

When parents get involved in toy squabbles, the primary goal should not be to teach your child a lesson on sharing. Rather, the goal is to intervene in a manner that does no harm (doesn't create bad feelings between the kids.) Children are highly sensitive to silent messages. If a parent asks an older sibling to hand over the toy he's playing with to his younger brother, the older child hears, "Mom likes the baby better than me." If one child whines to his mother and she gets involved on his behalf, the other child is bound to feel hurt and resentful toward the sibling. Take a commonsense approach and intervene in a manner that does no harm. If kids are fighting over a toy and they can't find a solution, hold both children responsible for the conflict and encourage them to work it out between themselves.

The trick is to give the kids the tools they need to resolve these conflicts, and then stay out of things as much as possible. One tool that works well is to say, "Okay, both of you want to play with the same toy, and that is not possible. How can we solve this? Then stand back and let them work it out. If the fighting continues, then a good question to ask is, "Do you like it when he shares with you?" Most likely the answer will be yes and then let your child tell you how they will work it out.

If your children are toddlers just remember you may have to intervene because the toy tends to be yanked from child to child or one runs with the toy after taking it, so get the children together and help them work it out without a lot of talking just guiding. In some cases with the older children if they are unwilling to share and you have given them opportunity to handle it with a watchful eye over the situation, it is o.k. then to have a brief gentle conversation with your little one and say, "If you are unwilling to share, you are letting me know that you are choosing to have the toy taken away." At that point let your child choose the right thing to do or not do. If he shares, praise him and if not keep your work and take the toy gently reminding your child is was their choice to do so.

When children are fighting over toys, resist the urge to jump right in and resolve things because what you are role modeling to your child is that they will learn to depend on you to solve their problems. When hosting play dates you can ask your children to put certain toys on the play list for the day just remember which ones they choose so each play date you can rotate toys so they are eventually sharing all of them. Also when your child gets a new toy, it is a golden rule in my house that the child does not need to share the toy for a couple days since it is new and then the toy is introduced to siblings and playmates. Another way to limit the fighting with sharing is to use distraction. You can turn your child's mood around by getting him involved in something different. Not every toy conflict needs to become a platform for teaching your child about sharing. This works really well with toddlers.

The best tool for teaching your child how to share is by role modeling it yourself. Use every opportunity to share and point it out to your child. When your child eats, "Can you share a bite with mommy?" and by playing with your child and doing the same thing with the toys.
If you are really having a tough time with sharing it is o.k. to give consequences while you play with your child too and then don't share. You are role modeling and in return when they go to play with friends it reciprocates back to others.

Your children love praise and attention from you. Praise is the best reward! Acknowledge their good sharing every chance you get and acknowledge their generosity. If you see that your child is giving you something, thank him for being so kind and turn it into a teaching tool for sharing. I bet Johnny would love it if you were sharing with him today. It is embarrassing when kids are inconsiderate and greedy but remember that you have to give up embarrassment when parenting because all kids do these behaviors at one time or another.

Have confidence in your child's basic goodwill and handle all behaviors with gentleness and kindness.

While We're Away...

"We are all interdependent and we have a planetary family" - Dorothy Nolte Law

As many of you know my family and I are headed to Squam Art Workshop to make art and howl at the moon with this family and this mama who I heart very much. Many of us have been dancing to the beat of the distant drumming and now it's time to answer the call...

Will you hold your spirit sacred?

Yes, I will!

As Brené Brown says so eloquently in her inspiring cds, "We can't give our children what we don't have"...how can we give our children the gift of living passionately, a sense of belonging and connection, or nurture their innate creativity...if we don't practice these things in our own life. And for this very reason I signed up for Squam. I am humbled by and grateful for all the support I've received that has helped make it possible for me to attend.

While I'm away, I've asked parenting coach Colleen Baker to guest blog on my behalf and share with you (and me) some of the most common discipline questions that she receives from clients.

Colleen's background is in early childhood education. It was because of her experience in managing 12 childcare centers that she began to focus her attention on parent coaching. She felt that she could make a difference in the lives of individual families and left her field to pursue her calling. She started her business, Powerful Parents, in January of 2008.

Colleen is mother to three charming boys. She is inspired by the work of Sal Severe (How to Behave So Your Children Will Too), and the late Dorothy Law Nolte Ph.D., author of "Children Learn What They Live" whose poem has been posted on refrigerator doors 'round the world. She lives/works in NoVA and is available for telephone consults.

I met Colleen at a parenting workshop at Satchel's favorite haunt, At Play Cafe. Her presentation was insightful and inspiring and addressed a wide variety of parenting concerns. I really appreciated her use of the word "behaviors" rather than "problems" as to me this is a reflection of her respect for children and positive discipline approach.

Colleen has agreed to guest blog for me and will write about four of the most common questions that she receives from parents regarding behaviors and how to address them in a nurturing and positive way. She will answer any questions you may have in the comments section of each post.

I'll be back on the 15th for Most Alive Monday!

Buddha Board

"We should not complain about impermanence, because without impermanence, nothing is possible" - Thich Nhat Hanh

A creative favorite in our home is the Buddha Board. Satch LOVES it! It's similar to an aqua doodle, but the images produced are much more rich and vivid. I like this "lap top" version much better than the original because it's sleek and portable. It's so stylish, in fact, that we leave it out permanently. The brush is of excellent quality and almost exactly like my traditional Japanese bamboo brush. It feels good in the hand, well balanced and light weight. It makes lovely strokes of various thicknesses and glides across the board. It also fans out nicely for texture and returns to its natural shape. There is a built in water well at the base of the board which also serves as a rest for the brush. I think what I find most intriguing about the Buddha Board is the impermanence of the image and how it slowly changes and then disappears completely as it dries. It's exactly enough time to admire the image without becoming attached to it. This is something that seems to come naturally to children. I admire how they can whip out a beautiful painting and a moment later cut it up with their safety scissors with out a second thought. Every child who has played with Satchel's Buddha Board has found it magical...and afterward often ended up painting each other. But since it's only water, no one seemed to mind.

*As you may have guessed from the name on my sidebar, I'm going to have a guest blogger while I'm away next week. I'll introduce you tomorrow....

Mom to Mom: Randall de Seve

Satch and I fell in love with her gorgeous book entitled, "Toy Boat" (which I wrote about here) and now it's my pleasure to introduce you to this amazing mama...

Mom: Randall de Seve
Of: Paulina (7) and Fia (2)
Where: New York

1. In what ways has becoming a mother changed you?

I think it’s changed the pace at which I live my life. Before parenting, I always felt the need to squeeze so much into a day—to always be economical with my time and productive. With my kids, I’ve learned to slow down a lot, in part to sustain myself, but also to allow my girls to appreciate their world at a child’s pace--to watch flowers open in the spring and build pillow forts when it rains.

2. What is one tip you would like to share about mothering?

Read to your kids a lot.

3. What is your creative outlet/medium?

Writing stories.

4. How do you find time for creativity?

A lot of what goes into making a children’s story is thinking, and I do that all the time! I write when my older daughter is in school and my younger one is with her wonderful part-time caregiver. If I’m in the middle of a story, I can usually play with it after the kids go to sleep—but I’m incapable of starting anything at night!

5. What inspired you to write Toy Boat?

At Paulina’s third birthday party, the children made toy boats and sailed them in a blow-up pool in our yard. Paulina made one for me, and it still sits on my desk. One day, when I was daydreaming, it told me its story.

6. What grounds you, moves you, fills your well?

My girls--the wonderful things they do every day and the love they show each other.