Dawa Wok!

This was the scene while I was making dinner. Satchel bouncing on his dada like he was a wild Bronco! I can't resist pointing out that my husband is wearing black socks with shorts. If he starts wearing a pocket protector, I'll have to pretend I don't know him.

Satchel had his 2 year check up and the doctor said his language skills are off the charts. I didn't know this since I have no way to compare nor do I want to. As Karen Maezen Miller wrote in Momma Zen, "The grass grows by itself". My belief is that Satch is the expert at being Satch and I trust that he will develop in his own way and his own time...so I'm not the type of mom who counts his words etc. Still, since he was a wee babe, we signed and spoke clearly to him...and I'll never forget the first time he signed "milk" and how much easier it was for all of us the more he was able to communicate. What I do know is that Satch is very expressive and still uses some of his sign language as well as spoken words...and now sentences! It happened so suddenly that I didn't realize it at first.



"Mama pay buh-lok"; "piece uh banana"... "juice bok" and "bye bye hah fun". Satch is a good communicator. Yesterday we were playing blocks and he heard me say, "oh, that'll work" and that became the catch phrase for the whole afternoon every time he chose a block to add to his creation.

Over dinner, as I so often do, I recounted the events of the day with his dada while Satch nodded in agreement and then when I mentioned the new sentence, Satch chimed in quite proudly, "oh dawa wok"!

Have a good weekend, everyone! I'll be back Monday with a new Mom to Mom interview.....

Filled and Complete

I've been slowly making my way through a stack of books. Albeit a little late on The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley, and The Baby Sleep Book by Dr. Sears. I wished I had read them earlier when it seemed like everyone and their mother was asking me if my baby "slept through the night yet". If nothing else, I could have held the book up to shield myself from the looks on their faces when I responded, "no". Both books made me feel better about my mothering style as what I've been doing all along by instinct seems to be the suggested modus operandi. As a co-sleeping and breastfeeding mama, I just go to bed with Satch because it seems the most natural and nurturing thing to do. Both books state quite clearly that babies are, by nature, designed to wake at night because sleeping puts them in a vulnerable position. They also state that the child will eventually sleep through the night on his own, but maybe not until after the age of two. I guess I just have to keep reminding myself the "eventually will" part. Though self-weaning, Satch does wake me to nurse. First I say gently, "milk later, mama go nite nite, Satch go nite nite", and sometimes he'll roll over and go back to sleep. If he persists or fusses, I let him nurse. A good night is when he wakes 2-3 times...a bad night is well....you've seen the posts.

And here Sears's book makes some very good points. He writes:

• "Although in the last century of Western culture we have learned to think of breastfeeding in terms of months or even weeks, historically, in most cultures, babies have nursed for at least two or three years."
• "We think of weaning as a goal we must strive toward, whether it's weaning from the breast, or the family bed, or childish behaviors. In ancient writings, the term "weaning" means "filled" or "completed". Children are not truly ready to move on to the next stage until the needs of this stage are filled". He goes on to write that when a toddler is weaned before he is willing, he will cry".
• "Life is a series of weanings for a child: weaning from your womb, your breast, your bed, and your home. The pace at which children wean, go from oneness to separateness, is different for every child, and this should be respected. In our experience, the most secure, independent, and happy children are those who have not been weaned before their time".

I'm finished with these two books so if anyone wants my used copies, you'll find them (along with a bunch of other stuff that I cleared out of closet) HERE! (if they're gone it's because someone purchased them already)

And I just want to thank all of you for your kind words, your support, well wishes and Buddhist services because I graciously accept any positive energy flowing in my direction. And while these books don't really change my situation (because I plan to continue the stroll along the au naturale A.P. path and allow Satch self-wean from the breast and family bed), they certainly make me feel more connected to my mother instincts, to my son and to nature.

Beautiful Magical

Yesterday, Satchel and I watched a Mr. Rogers episode in which he met Koko the gorilla (which you can also see here!). Satchel was intrigued by gorilla using sign language. He kept saying, "Koko...Koko...Koko", as if both excited and perplexed. I am happy to have shared this experience with him and that, even at his young age of two, he was able to recognize that this was quite beautiful and magical.

I've met a lot of people over the years who have never heard of Koko or the Gorilla Foundation. A lot of people don't know that, if given the opportunity, gorillas can sign and communicate. The late Michael recounted the story of his mother's death at the hands of poachers which he witnessed as a babe. This reinforces my belief that animals should be respected and loved, not murdered and eaten.

After the show we took Satchel's toy gorilla off the shelf and played with it. I told him that I have a photo of Koko somewhere and that I would find it for him. While he was napping, I located the  photo and presented it to him when he awoke. He was delighted.

In other news...my suspicion that Satch now has viral conjunctivitis was correct so we were given some goop for his eyes. (*a note to mamas...if the doc prescribes drops, ask for the ointment as I did. It's much easier and less traumatic on the tot. You can squeeze a bit on the tip of your clean finger and dab it in the corner of their eye...it will dissolve and they'll blink it in) And just when the poor chap couldn't be any more miserable...he gets stung by a bee. My husband took him for a post dinner walk and no more than 20 minutes later I heard crying. Apparently my husband mistook the bee for a rock as Satch went to pick it up. (sigh)

I looked for the telltale black dot and found one near his wrist and one near his thumb. My husband said it stung his thumb so I used one of my business cards to scrape it off. Satch wanted no part of icing it. I completely forgot about the baking soda paste which draws out the venom so I think I'm going to look for a first aid refresher course because I am forgetting some of the skills that I learned as an M.A. I looked for something to numb the wound and figured that the EMLA cream I had on hand wouldn't be a good idea since he could put the thumb in his mouth so I dabbed it with Orajel and wrapped it with an Elmo bandaid. I don't think the Orajel had much effect, but Satch found it magical so that's all that matters. The swelling and redness went away shortly after. Robert described the bee as a bumble, and yet there seemed to be a stinger. Bumble Bees, Wasps and Yellow Jackets do not have barbed stingers that stay in your skin which makes them extra nasty because they can sting multiple times. Only Honey Bees have a barbed stinger which remains in your skin, therefore the Honey Bee dies. The stinger must be removed quickly as the longer it remains in the wound, the more venom pumps in.

Poop

Satch and I were soaking in a warm bath to help with our congestion when suddenly he stood up and declared, "POOF" (meaning poops)! I quickly sat him on his potty chair and he was very nervous about it, stood up and said, "all done, all done". I said, "It's ok...poop on the potty like Bing Bunny". And he did. Then he stood up to see what he had done and yelled joyously, "BANANA!"

A Whole New Level of Fatigue

Satchel's cold has gotten worse and he now has what I think is viral conjunctivitis! Satch is rarely ill...I think this the second or maybe third cold ever and it's kicking his adorable butt. He gave the crud to me (after catching it from his dada) so I can assure you, it's a nasty bug and I have a stellar immune system. He woke up in the middle of the night coughing, then crying and it took all my sleep-deprived-strength (going on 4 weeks without sleep) to rock and soothe and speak softly, and focus my bloodshot eyes on the fireflies outside until he finally went back to sleep. My poor boy...he hardly looks like himself. On a happier note, last night was the first time ever that he woke up only once so in spite of the midnight meltdown, I actually feel more rested than I have in two years.

Our Weekend

We went to funky Georgetown to visit my friend, and former upstairs NYC neighbor, Laura on Sunday. (Laura and I met at a trauma center for BPC residents after our horrific ordeal)

We romped around in the waterfront park....

and watched the boats on the Potomac. Satch kept asking to "wide the boat" so we'll need to plan something special for him.

We ate brunch at La Madeleine where Satch helped himself to Laura's crepe the moment she left the table.
















We walked along the C&O Canal which was absolutely charming and lined with historic buildings. It felt like we were in Europe, not in DC.

Satch and I still have our colds, but as Nina would say, "We're all about the memories".

Our Wild Life

Last night I awoke to a mournful bleating. I went downstairs and Robert already had the light on and was looking outside. It was the cry of a fox.

Early this morning, before the sun had a chance to kiss the horizon, a pack of five squirrels began raiding our bird feeder. I removed it from it's location in the garden and hung it on the glass wall. Satch and I watched as the squirrels spent a good part of the morning trying to figure out how to get to the feeder. They climbed the screen, scaled the brick wall, tried jumping from the second story ledge, and after many leaps and falls, they did it! When they weren't pillaging the garden, they tortured our cats by dancing on their hind legs along the glass.

I'm going to have to hold off on feeding the "monks" and the birds for a while until the squirrels move on. They have voracious appetites.

Have a good weekend, everyone!

Skin Deep

Below is a list of the safer sunscreens for your child as published on EWG's website. (click image to enlarge) According to EWG, there are no federal sunscreen safety standards in the U.S. And SPF ratings only cover UVB rays, which causes sunburn, but not the UVA rays, which raise skin cancer risk? In addition, they found that 84% of 783 sunscreen products offer inadequate protection from the sun or contain ingredients with significant safety concerns. Click here to see the complete list of best and worst. I just learned that the brand I was using, "Coppertone Water Babies" has a health hazard index of 8! I'm going to switch to "California Baby", even though I think it's way overpriced.

Hmmmmmm

Things that made me go, "hmmmmmm":

1. One morning at the LACH, Satch and I overheard a middle-aged man order, "Cappuccino....DRY" (meaning no milk)! Hmmmm...wouldn't that be an espresso?"
   
2. While on the trail, we saw an amorous adolescent couple walking hand in hand...each talking into their cell phones with their free hand. Hmmmmm.
   

Tending the Garden

"Your life is a garden. And you are the only gardener." - Karen Maezen Miller (Momma Zen)

The sweetest recipe: a wee boy, surf trunks, frog boots and a generous supply of water....

• I'm grateful for the garden hose that my husband bought me so that I no longer have to make 10 trips with the watering can.

• I'm grateful for the wand attachment that my mother bought me and it's continuous spray feature that saves my hands from cramping....and because now Satch can "help"!

The female cardinal has come to the feeder alone...I think this means her eggs have hatched.

Satch developed a stuffy nose...the sleep deprivation continues. I'm depleted.

At Story Time

This morning at story time, a little girl around 6 years of age wearing pink Crocs walked up to me in a swirly sort of way....

"I like your crocs", she said.
"Thank you...I like yours too...aren't they comfortable?"
"Yes, and they're good for climbing trees!"
"They are?", I replied, "I have to try that!"
"I like you"
"I like you too", I replied.

Getting Wet

"When you ask yourself, "Why not?" you may find yourself in motion, across a vivid and unpredictable landscape, over impossible mountains and beyond the water's edge, where you surprise yourself, once and for all, by getting wet" - Karen Maezen Miller (Momma Zen)

Mischief and merriment....squirting mama and dada...and anyone willing...

and rescuing an occasional drowning insect.


(I don't share my son's enthusiasm for insects which I know is hypocritical considering I'm a vegetarian and all. I admitted this to a friend recently and explained that I feel really guilty about it. She said, " Well maybe when you find yourself in a situation where you need to squash one of the large a/o biting variety, you should think of it as helping the creature move on to a higher and less repulsive incarnation".)

Father & Son

I took this photo months ago to make a card from Satch to his dada for Father's Day...and then I completely forgot it was Father's Day yesterday until the afternoon!

Can I blame it on fatigue?

Riding this Rock

Photo: my cousin Phil and me (in the not so distant past) perfecting our sandcastle skills on Fire Island.

I'm slowly making my way through a stack of books and still reading the wonderful Richard Louv book, "Last Child in the Woods". What makes this book so powerful to me is that it really sheds light on how different Satchel's world is from the one I grew up in. Even the very definition of nature as we know it is obscured by new technologies, i.e. grafting bacteria to microchips; and bioengineered animals (chimeras); and robots equipped with the brainstem of an eel.

When I was a kid, I climbed trees, rode horses and built sandcastles. I was a Girl Scout and camped out in tented platforms and rustic cabins where we cooked on fires, sang songs and told stories. Camping was camping then...in nature. There was no karate camp, computer camp or modeling camp. My birthdays were celebrated with family and friends at home not at Chucky Cheese's. There was no Nintendo, but I was never bored, I made puppets.

I feel very passionate about what Louv has to say. I related to him immediately when in the first few chapters he explained that he felt it was his duty as a father to protect his children from the brutality of the world for as long as humanly possible. I, too, feel strongly about this...providing Satch with a foundation of beauty, truth and wonder while shielding him from negativity, commercialism, ugliness! I believe in the importance of understanding what you are eating and how it gets to the table so to be able to make informed choices. I also believe that a connection to nature is as important as oxygen and agree that today's kids do indeed seem distracted. I think it's because we have lost our balance. Don't get me wrong I LOVE technology! I love my customized google home page which brings me the latest headlines from "Art Forum", "Life Hacker", "Science Times", and "SCIAM" (not to mention some swell vegetarian recipes) so that I don't have to go looking for them. I love my personalized firefox location bar with drop-downs for my favorite haunts. I love one click navigation , RSS feeds, my mac, my digital camera, photoshop, and music downloads. These things save me time, make my world a little easier, and a whole lot of fun.

Still, I felt a great sense of pride when, during my Mom's visit, Satch wanted to pick a mint leaf...that he KNOWS the difference between a mint plant and a tomato plant. I think it's important to understand these things, to recognize the difference between a Wren and a Warbler, to figure out what species of insect I squashed in the kitchen. I think it's vital to know the world around me...I don't want to ride this rock unaware.

It is difficult to put this book down though it is taking me some time to read due to the confines of mamahood, but I feel like I have discovered another kindred spirit.

What I'm wondering is, how do we do it? How do we save our children from the clutches of Ronald McDonalds and Super Marios?

These were the thoughts that crossed my mind while Satch napped and a powerful storm rolled in. The sky grew so dark that my sun jars began to glow. A mixture of rain and hail pelted the windows and sky light. Satch slept through some of the loudest thunder I had ever heard. When the storm passed, steam rose from trail in a ghostly mist. The Cardinal couple returned to the feeder and I watched the male feed the female. (This is called mate feeding) The "monk",
standing sentinel in our garden, does not allow the birds to ground-feed. He chases them right out of the garden, especially the Blue Jays. It's the funniest thing to watch.

On that note, let me leave you with something beautiful (The music is J.S. Bach's Sarabande from Cello Suite No. 1 in G Major, BWV 1007: IV. Performed by Yoyo Ma). Have a good weekend, everyone!

Sleepless

For the last two weeks or so, Satchel has not slept....at ALL! (Satchel has never slept through the night 'cept for two nights in two years) However, he recently seemed to fall into a pattern...a glorious pattern...of only waking me 2-3 times per night. Somehow my body had adjusted to this and I was able to function, even feel well rested. I was able to stay up late like a grown-up and work on my art instead of falling asleep at 8 pm with Satch.

BUT for the last two weeks he's been waking me on the average of 10-12 times. One night it seemed to be every 30 minutes. He doesn't appear ill, he simply won't sleep...and he wants to nurse all day and all night. This too is odd because he had shown signs of self-weaning and would often go the whole day without nursing and only nursed at nap time or bed time. These nights I feel like a stone that is being skipped across a lake, just as I begin to sink into sleep I am forced upward and onward towards the shore of morning without coming to a rest.

Yesterday I was so exhausted I was unable to take Satch out in the sunshine to play. I didn't have the strength to get dressed and remained in my pajamas ALL day. "Play blocks", he said, "Play cars"! And I did...I played. In the evening he patted my leg and said, "mama", then patted his chest and said, "happy". I was relieved that I was able to make it through without bursting into tears or collapsing into a rumpled heap on the floor because the truth is I'm so tired that I ache....and I was happy that he was happy. Last night I got one 2 hour stretch of sleep. I am trying to make it to through the week. I just don't know what to do...I keep telling myself that it will pass.

*It should be noted that Satch is a co-sleeping child. His bedtime and nap time are dictated by his own circadian rhythm, not mine, not a schedule from a book. We simply watched for his cues and adjusted our lives accordingly. He usually naps between 2-3pm and is ready for bed between 8-8:30pm. He never resists going to bed...he goes happily and I with him.

Has anyone else experienced this?

(By the way, I am STILL reading the book "Last Child in the Woods" by Richard Louv and I have so much I want to say about it, but it will have to wait until I have the energy)

Family

"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city." - George Burns




Satchel had a wonderful visit from his grandma-Joyce (my mom) this weekend. He calls her, "Nomah". She let him pull the sequins off her t-shirt...it was true love!

And here's a sneak peek of the visit from Robert's tribe two weeks ago...

We all donned groucho glasses on Satchel's birthday (because he thinks it's funny)...during which, Grandpa George told Grandma Sheila that she resembled someone named Dave.

Mud-luscious

"the world is mud-luscious and puddle-wonderful" - ee cummings

Yesterday we splashed in a large mud puddle with a bunch of tots, then went to play (rinse off) in the fountains at the playground. (The one time I didn't have my camera with me - arrgh!) Satch was so exhausted from all the silliness that he fell asleep right after lunch while I threw his clothes and shoes in the washer. When he woke up from his nap he wanted to wear his bike helmet AND his wet suit...birthday gifts from his great aunt and great-great aunt & uncle respectively. He looked like he was training for the triathlon!

If there was an olympic event for the most joyous laugh, Satch would bring home the gold.

His other grandma arrives tomorrow for a post birthday visit/celebration. I'm signing off early.

Have a good weekend everyone!

Our Weekend...

 Splashing in fountains with Satch!

Gardening in the rain!

Sipping Iced African Rooibos tea!
Baking (and eating) Chocolate Banana tea loaves!
and this pizza (fast, easy, delicious)....

Thin Crust Pizza with Onions, and Ricotta

Olive oil
1 red onion, halved and thinly sliced
1 teaspoon balsamic vinegar reduction
2 large flour tortillas
1 cup shredded Asiago cheese (about 2 ounces)
2/3 cup ricotta cheese
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper

Preheat the oven to 450°F.

Heat 1 Tbsp olive oil in a small sauté pan on medium hight heat. Add the sliced onions and cook, stirring occasionally, until the onions begin to soften. Add the balsamic vinegar reduction, cook for a few more minutes until the onions are thoroughly softened and slightly caramelized. Remove from heat.

Place tortillas on baking sheets and brush with olive oil.

Sprinkle each tortilla with half a cup of shredded Asiago cheese. Add bits of ricotta cheese, 1/3 cup for each tortilla. Sprinkle with caramelized onions. Sprinkle with a little salt and pepper.

Place the baking sheets in the oven. Bake until the crust is crisp and brown all over between 5-10 minutes.

Each pizza serves 1..unless you're super hungry.

*Here's how to make balsamic reduction...it's too easy for words and way better than straight up balsamic vinegar. It's thicker, sweeter, has a slightly chocolaty taste and is awesome drizzled on roasted veggies, sandwiches and even fruit. Basically...it's like the poor man's version of THIS! We're addicted to it so now I just reduce the whole dang bottle when I buy balsamic vinegar.
How did you spend your weekend?

Mom to Mom: Allison

It's June and I can't think of a more glorious way to begin the month and end the week than by leaving you with Allison. Satch and I are heading out to watch some jugglers that have come to town. Have a good weekend, everyone or as Satch now says, "Time to play"!

Mom: Allison (Love Squalor)
Of : Esme Lille, 10 months
Where: Albuquerque, New Mexico
Blog: Full Instrumental

1. In what ways has becoming a mother changed you?

The changes never stop! Motherhood is a lesson in wonder, watching the magic of a human being unfold. It is a lesson in patience, awake and raw at 2:00 A.M., searching for compassion in the fragile center of exhaustion. It is a lesson in perspective, sharing the wide eyed discoveries of a child and seeing even a blade of grass for the miracle it is. Motherhood is a lesson in love, my heart unraveling almost daily as it expands to span the distance between her independent footsteps and my outstretched hands. Being a mother is a lesson in change, every month a new topography and the choreography changes as I skip a beat to keep up. Life is different as a mother, less sleep, more schedules, less time, more worries. But when I look back across the path we have traveled together in the past ten months, I can see how being a mother has filled up all the empty spaces.

2. What is one tip you would like to share about mothering?

Take care of yourself. Motherhood inspires and demands a certain amount of selflessness, but it is a bucket that can come up empty if the source isn't replenished. It is so easy to lose sight of yourself and your dreams in the wake of a child's needs, so primal and extensive. However, when I catch a glimpse of Esme looking to me for her cues, I remember how important it is to keep growing, to keep giving back to myself so that I can be someone worth her admiration. Children deserve all the love in the world, but it is important to remember that you can't give away what you don't have. Take time out to ask what you can give to yourself, what you need to do to love yourself. For me, the answer was continuing to pursue my graduate degree. It hasn't been easy, but I have managed to be a full time mother and a full time graduate student without leaving Esme for more than a few hours a week. Giving myself the opportunity to follow my dreams right now will allow me to someday give my children the encouragement and the example to dream without boundaries, to proceed when things get hard, and to believe in their ability to succeed.

3. What is your creative outlet/medium?

Life is full of so many things to inspire and I am captivated by so much! Right now I am experimenting with photography, exploring the link between images, emotions, color. My crushes also extend to the written word, crochet hooks, sketchbooks, cookbooks, sewing machines, music and lyrics.

4. How do you find time for creativity?

I don't find time, but I am learning how to make it. I admire other parents who make time for creativity by involving their kids in their creative projects – share the camera, the crayons, the fabric. Esme is still too young to be involved in much though, so for now I make good use of nap times and those few precious hours between her bedtime and mine. I also am blessed with a wonderful guy who knows how much it means to have help with the dishes, the laundry, and Esme time.

5. Why do you blog/journal?

I blog because it gives me perspective – something tangible to measure the distance between my goals and my accomplishments. I blog because having an audience keeps me accountable, keeps me showing up to the page. I blog because the connection to other mothers-artists-women-people provides me with a community that is diverse in ways that wouldn't be possible otherwise – it makes the world feel a little smaller.

6. Which blogs do you frequent?

There are so many! In addition to Mother Rising (and sweet little *Satch*), I frequent:

Self Taught Girl, Hula Seventy, Superhero Journal, Steph's, and Micasa - - just to name a few (a very small few of the uber talented and inspiring people who make my life a little brighter)

7. Who are some bloggers that you would like to meet?

Christina, because her heart is so wide and her soul so deep

Flossy-p, because the world through her eyes is so full of color and laughter

Irene, because her heart comes through everything she does